YOU WON'T BELIEVE A TURKEY ROASTED THIS WAY
Four-time Walkley Award winning political commentator and Churchill Fellow, has returned to the fray over concern that the integrity of news dissemination is continually being threatened by a partisan media.
For me it was the best Christmas ever, and for more than one reason. Pretty broke this year but I made sure we could afford the large turkey I always cook for my terrific mob including 17 grown up grandchildren with another one due in April. But I have to tell you how I cook my turkey. It’s the best and it can be done with a chook or a duck.
First separate the skin from the flesh. Those expert Peking duck chefs blow down the neck to separate the skin. I use my fingers to create the cavities where I shove minced pork stuffing including all the herbs, onion and stuff in normal stuffing. The pork stuffing under the outer skin is the secret to the ultimate roast turkey. Shove as much as possible of the same stuffing inside the turkey and plug it with a whole unpeeled orange.
Get a couple of hands full of butter (not margarine) and rub it into the outer skin. Cover the whole thing with bacon rashers, cover in foil and whack it in the oven for three or more hours (depending on the size) and when ready, take it out and remove the bacon rashers. Go easy on the salt as the butter and bacon soak into the skin and the pork soaks into the flesh
For the first half hour cook at 180 deg then lower to 160 deg.
Remove when cooked and while munching on the crisp bacon, completely drench the turkey with the juice from the base of the frying tray with a ladle (there will be plenty of juice). Basting I think they call it, and that’s done at a lower temperature. Continue to take it out every 5 or 10 minutes for the next half hour to baste it.
Wow, drain for a few minutes then it’s ready to serve and there will never be a morsel left if cooked this way, only a mangled skeleton remained for my crab pot.
Each year I catch a load of mud crabs to include in lunch. This time I managed to get five of the biggest muddies I’ve ever seen. No missing claws and a foot and more across.
We decided on no presents this Christmas, so my eight year old daughter made a really beautiful card for everyone and my card had the best present of all in it. There were all these hand written coupons stapled together, each with a different colour for everything from a cup of tea to one of her home-made cookies, "clean my desk", a neck massage and kisses and cuddles. I still have a few coupons left.
A nice kid without money will always invent something nice anyway.
But fair dinkum, who made up this Queensland law about only taking male muddies (bucks) and not females (jennies)? After 102 years of this mad QLD law the males have all but disappeared and all you ever see in your trap are females loaded with billions of unfertilised eggs.
If you are one of the rare male crabs left you have to be one of the luckiest crabs in Queensland... but not necessarily the most suitable to breed with.
The males no longer need to fight each other to breed like all other species because the females are so numerous and not that fussy any more (it's Queensland up here).They just want their eggs fertilised by anything that looks like a crab but the few male crabs left are not growing big enough to breed before being caught. Therefore the quality of muddies over a century has continued to decline, as has in general, the quality of Queenslanders.
Only now has the bright Fisheries Dept decided there is something wrong.
Mine are caught where no-one else can, and I only catch them once a year. I missed last year so they had all grown like Topsy in their little rookery, pod or cast (or whatever the group name is).
If only an average of males and females were taken the species would remain in balance. But the marine biologists always need to change something and usually stuff it up.
Throw it back
The fisheries blokes are the same idiots who make you throw back the “undersized” fish of which there are billions that will never make it to maturity anyway and insist that you take the larger fish, the ones that have proved their right to breed by being smart enough to avoid predators and blokes like you and me.
What is the inevitable result when you kill the breeding stock of any species? Would it make sense to ignore the whale calf and harpoon its mum and dad?
The Asians have got it right... they take the smaller fish and throw back the breeders to produce more smaller fish so they remain in business.
Sorry, but I had to have a bitch about something. Anyway it was a great Christmas that I was told by a bunch of doctors I would not see without chemo... but I’m feeling a million bucks.
There are things I did to beat the big C over the past year and I will let you know what they were when I’m certain I’m all clear.
And thanks for all your support and the support of my family and friends like Magoo, Col, Mick Dittman, Zanetti and family and Larry Olsen. Singo and his terrific son and my life-long mate, Jack, flew up to buy me lunch and sink a dozen reds from which I'm still recovering. I reckon I might have disappointed a few people tho, cos I’m still here!
Life’s so bloody good and I simply refuse to check out just yet. Too much to do.