The Pickering Post
Monday, 25th March 2019

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Would You Buy A Used Republic From This Man?

Paul Zanetti

Paul Zanetti is a Walkley award winning syndicated cartoonist with over 30 years in the media. He blogs at


HAVE I got a Republic for YOU. Don’t think you need a Republic? Think again! But you’ll have to be quick! I’ll even throw in a set of free steak knives.

That’s the dodgy used car spiel being spruiked this time around to pressure YOU into buying a clapped out ‘Republic’ model.

But you’re quite happy with your old ‘Monarch’ model with the reliable V8 engine.

It’s served you well and you expect it will run reliably for some time yet. You have an emotional bond with the Monarch. It’s been part of the family forever.

Every now and then, though, you’re tempted to get another model, to bump up to that ‘Republic’ the neighbours talk about. But then you ask yourself ‘why?’.

Why indeed.

You can’t really think of a good reason. You’re happy with what you’ve got. So you head down to the car yard to see what the big deal is with this ‘Republic’.

That’s where you meet the big, boofy salesman with the wide collared shirt (circa 1978), the chequered jacket (1983) with matching trousers and white shoes (re-soled 6 times since 1988). The red bandana is a unique touch, though.

You walk onto the car lot with a little trepidation when ‘he’ sees you.

Try to not make eye contact. Damn. Too late.

Boofhead bounds over.

”Maaaate! Maaaaate! Cobber! Buddy! Bloke! How’s ya day been, champion?”

“Yeah, um, good thanks!”

“So you’re here to buy a Republic!” Boofhead says with all the surety in the world.

“I’m just looking thanks….” you reply nervously.

“Maaaaate, everyone wants one.” Boofhead insists.

“You’ll be the odd one out! The neighbours will be talking. Better hurry up. This offer won’t last long. Gotta do it now. You’ll regret it if you don’t”

“Why?” you ask.

Boofhead stops to think. He hadn’t thought of that. After a moment he spits put, “Because, well, your old Monarch, it’s outdated!”

“But Republics are old, too,” you explain.

Boofhead looks really baffled now.

“But maaaaaate! Cobber! Bloke!….This is a REPUBLIC! Everyone wants one!”

“Do they?” you ask. “My family really likes our Monarch.”

“Ha! What would they know? Republics are…just better!”, insists Boofhead, getting a little testy.

So you ask, “Why is a Republic better than a Monarch?”

Boofhead looks at you. Stumped.

He goes back to his office to see what google says.

That’s effectively what we’re facing with this whole new republic salesman push. You’re being sold an unknown to replace a known. You’re not being told why you should buy the 'Republic', just that the salesman doesn’t like the 'Monarch'.

He can’t give you any other reason. He just wants you to trust him.

In his open letter to ‘Australia’ on Australia Day, republican salesman Peter ‘Fitzy’ FitzSimons puts his best case forward.

Nowhere in his best case sales spiel does Fitzy tell us why Australia would be better under a republic.

Because he can’t.

Fitzy’s model means we, the people, don’t get to vote for our Head Of State - which is no different to the case we have now.

Fitzy doesn’t want you to know that so he doesn't talk about it. He knows if he does, you'll run back to your 'Monarch'.

A bit like the car out back that the salesman doesn’t want you to see in case you notice it’s not as good as he says it is or no better than what you have.

What Fitzy does do is a salesman’s slick trick. A pea-and-thimble trick.

He diverts your attention away from the very ordinary product he’s trying to sell, with lots of sales hype but no real substance. He takes you for a schmuck.  

Here are a few selected hyped sales words and phrases adopted by the salesman Fitzy trying to sell you a Republic:

“….let a thousand flowers bloom…”

“…thrilling and historic…”

“…never before have the stars of the Southern Cross been so aligned as now, pointing to the dawn of the Australian republic…”

“…that alignment has continued at astonishing pace…”

“…euphoric response to the release of that Declaration of Desired Independence…”

“…the number of members…are now pouring in…”

“…let's be fabulous, and let's get on with it…”

“…it is a hell of a start…”

“…We can do this, and we can do it soon!…”

“…there will be a thumping YES, and we are on our way….”

All sales hype. No substance.

Where’s the actual republic model? How will Australian lives be improved? How will Australia be better off?

How will we be affected?

If we aren’t affected then why change?

If we are affected tell us how.

If you can’t tell us how or why then why would we vote for it?

The only apparent motivation for a republic is Fitzy’s dislike for the Royal family.

He says, “Australia really can do better than find our heads of state from one family of unelected English aristocrats, living in a palace in London…”.

The old rubbishing a Ford to try to sell a Holden routine.

Hailing from Irish roots it’s understandable Fitzy might have a personal loathing for the Brits, but someone’s deep dislike of the Royal Family isn’t our problem to fix.

I can’t help imagining Fitzy getting together with fellow Irish chums, Mike Carlton and Paul Keating, toasting with a glass of Guinness,

“Here’s to a republic!”

“We can DO this!”

“Let’s be FABULOUS!”

“….If we keep the republic model quiet we’ll get a THUMPING YES….and we’re on our way…”

That’s just the start of it.

The other slick advertising trick Fitzy has employed to get you to vote ‘Yes’ to a republic is avoiding the issue of the republic…completely.

Instead of being up front, asking you if you think Australia should be a republic, Fitzy wants the government to ask you a motherhood question to which you must answer ‘Yes’.

The question being:

“Do you think Australia should have an Australian as our Head of State?”

How could you say 'No'?

Fitzy even admits, “There will be a thumping YES, and we are on our way.”

Fitzy reckons he’s so smart he’s already got your vote before you vote. Why even bother voting?

See, it’s not about Australia. Not about what’s best for the country. It’s about the Royal family. It’s personal. This is an Irishman sticking it up the British monarchy.

The question should be posed accurately and honestly -

“Do you think Australia should become a republic?”

This should not be about an individual, a person, or the queen or her heirs.

You make up your own mind. Here’s the open sales letter from the republican salesman, Peter ‘Fitzy’ FitzSimons published in Fairfax and News Corp publications.

Australia, I’ve got one question for you...

In my address to the National Press Club in August of last year I stated that, “Never before have the stars of the Southern Cross been so aligned as now, pointing to the dawn of the Australian Republic.”

The fact that Malcolm Turnbull became Prime Minister shortly afterwards only lined those stars up even better, and that alignment has continued at astonishing pace since.

This Australia Day, we have quadruple the number of members as last year. Donations, which used to sound, for very good reason, like a twenty cent piece landing in an otherwise empty 44 gallon drum, are now pouring in as never before. Business leaders like Alan Joyce, Ken Henry and Tony Shepherd have been as proud to stand with us, as we are to have them by our side, begging only they don’t step on the toes of Julia Gillard, Anna Bligh, Senator Nova Peris-Kneebone and Hugh Jackman.

And then, the true breakthrough: yesterday’s “Declaration of Desired Independence,” as I call it, whereby seven out of eight of the Premiers and Chief Ministers signed up in honour of Australia Day, affirming their desire that we get on with it.

The upshot is that that dawn is now close. We can do this, and we can do it soon! As the Prime Minister — the most passionate republican in the land — surveys the chances of getting up a referendum “with a majority of people in a majority of states,” it is a hell of a start to have all the leaders of those states with him. (Particularly when, the only one who didn’t sign, WA Premier Colin Barnett, is also a strong republican.)

The euphoric response to the release of that Declaration yesterday — expressed on talkback, twitter, emails and on the street — was nothing less than thrilling and historic. It included myriad front pages around the country applauding the move. I am a Fairfax man from the hairs of my chinny-chin-chin to the marrow of my bones, but the positive front page of the Sydney Daily Telegraph, with a headline hailing the “United States of Australia,” and a supportive editorial to boot, was of enormous significance — as is the fact this column is jointly published by Fairfax and News Corp.

All of us are putting our differences behind us, and coming together for the sake of the belief that in the 21st Century, Australia really can do better than find our Heads of State from one family of unelected English aristocrats, living in a palace in London, however much we might admire the head of that family, in Her Majesty. People believe!

One key sticking point is timing, with many maintaining that while we want to be a republic, it is better we wait until the Queen passes away.

I write now, to express my passionate contrary view.

I say we Australians have two ways of doing this.

We can do it while Her Majesty is still young enough to travel to this country, at which point, instead of bowing, curtsying and scraping ... instead of that, as a nation we could rise as one, give her a standing ovation, and say “Thank you, Your Majesty, for the sterling service you have provided our nation.”

She can then hand us the keys, and we affirm that, like the other 33 Commonwealth nations that have become republics on her watch — while still remaining part of the Commonwealth — we can take it from here. We could do that like grown-ups, looking our British equals in the eyes, and affirming that we have grown sufficiently to do this our way.

Or we can do it the sneaky way. We can wait until Her Majesty passes away, at which point we sneak out the back of Westminster Abbey and greet on the stairs the incoming King Charles — who has been waiting 70 years for the role — with the humiliation of our public affirmation before the world that while we were happy with his mother for all that time, we can’t cop him for five minutes.

Is that fair to him? Does that fine man deserve that? I think not.

So let’s be fair, let’s be fabulous, and let’s get on with it. Let a thousand flowers bloom as so many people from across our brown and pleasant land come forward offering their help, and let us set ourselves to get this done by 2020. Join the Australian Republican Movement, tell your friends, write to your parliamentarians, and let’s make this happen!

Let us have this government commit to asking the Australian people a very simple question: “Do you think Australia should have an Australian as our Head of State?” There will be a thumping YES, and we are on our way.

Peter FitzSimons is chair of the Australian Republican Movement.

Since Fitzy wrote that presumptuous, condescending open letter a number of news sites have run polls - including the ABC.

In all polls, the majority of those who voted, when asked the right question, ‘Should Australia Become A Republic? (the question Fitzy avoids), responded ‘No’.

So much for his thumping 'YES'.

Then there’s Malcolm Turnbull, who, according to Fitzy, when he became Prime Minister lined the stars up even better “…and that alignment has continued at astonishing pace since….and the Prime Minister — the most passionate republican in the land — surveys the chances of getting up a referendum “with a majority of people in a majority of states,” it is a hell of a start to have all the leaders of those states with him.”

Fitzy doesn’t seem to have run that by Malcolm Turnbull who has since said now is not the time for a republic. Turnbull has been burned once and has no intention to get burned twice. There is no public mood for a republic.

If Fitzy can’t get Malcolm Turnbull on board - an avowed republican, former chairman of the Australian Republican Movement - he has Buckley’s chance of getting the rest of us on board.

Today other government ministers, some republicans, have agreed with the PM’s assertions that the push for a republic should be put on the back burner.

Greg Hunt, Environment Minister, says issues such as job creation and housing affordability preoccupy the minds of the public.

Justice Minister Michael Keenan says the government needs to focus on things that will tangibly improve the lives of Australians, not becoming a republic.

"It's not really going to make a significant difference to our lives," he told ABC radio.

Steve Ciobo, Gold Coast member and Liberal frontbencher told Sky News, “We're not going to jump every single time someone stands up and goes `quick, we need a republic today',

"It's been a hot summer. I think some people need to have a nice big, cool glass of water."

Nationals leader Warren Truss said he believed Australians would never support making a politician the head of state.

"The great strength of the monarchy is not the power it gives to an individual but the power it denies to others.”

"If you take that reserve power away from the Queen, which she never exercises, you've got to give it to somebody else and that'll be a politician. I don't think the Australian people will ever be comfortable with that."

Personally, I have no problem with becoming a republic.

But not this model, and not by this salesman.

Give me a model I can trust - and someone I can believe to sell it to me. Someone who will tell me the truth.

Until then, I'm okay with my old 'Monarch' model.





Welcome to the Australian Monarchist League, Australia's largest member-based monarchist organisation. Discover why our constitutional monarchy protects the democracy of the Australian people.
Here’s more to make you puke…. Guess what? The White Australia Policy was dismantled in 1973 under Gough Whitlam (such a hero), who just coincidentally happened to have a Jewish Minister for Immigration during the time of his Prime Minister-ship (1972 – 1975) named Walter Lippmann! As usual, what happened is Australia officially got “multiculturalised”, just like the US and Britain, and once again Jews just so happened to be behind “racially diversifying” the formerly White country. This is all a coincidence of course, because pointing out facts about what Jews do is termed “anti-Semitism”, and it’s not fashionable among a culturally Marxist society to be into that sort of stuff.
",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Lippmann suggested that two interconnected developments needed to take place to ensure the long-term survival of Australian Jewry. One was the organization of a Jewish community relevant to the Australian political context. The other was recognition by government that Australian society was “suffering from an ambivalence on the vital ‘unity through diversity’ aspect of nation building,” and was “imposing upon immigrants pressures to conform, so that they can establish themselves.” Stratton notes that it was in this context that Lippmann argued for a change in government policy. Lippmann argued that “For a Jewish community to survive in the Australian environment, it is necessary that Jewish separateness be defined for and imbibed by coming generations.” Australian Jews were to have their ethnic and cultural separateness strengthened and normalized through the power of government. Jewish ethnic identity was to be affirmed, and equivalences made between, for example, the Jewish and Greek ethnic Diasporas. For Lippmann, the future of the Australian Jewish community depended upon “a recognition of cultural pluralism in Australia.”[iii]............"
Two of the 8 members of the board of the ‘progressive’ ABC – Spigelman and Bart – are Jewish. This must be something of a head-exploder for mainstream anti-Semitic ‘progressives’, for whom Jews are, by definition, rich, conservative, pro-Israel puppet-masters. Maybe it’s all a very, very subtle Zionist plot!
Online Hate Prevention Institute (OHPI) = fabricated crap.

".....Dr Andre Oboler (Managing Director & CEO)
Dr Andre Oboler is co-chair of the Online Antisemitism working group of the Global Forum to Combat Antisemitism and serves as an expert to the Inter-parliamentary Coalition for Combating Antisemitism. He is the former Director of the Community Internet Engagement Project at the Zionist Federation of Australia. ..............."
Zionist influentials/pawns in Australia…
Michael Danby
Israel’s secret service, Mossad
Executive Council of Australian Jewry Inc.
The Jewish Community Council of Victoria
Australia-Israel Chamber of Commerce
Dr. Colin Rubenstein’s Australia/Israel & Jewish Affairs Council
Jewish News
James Spigelman, ABC Chairman
Jonathan Sacks, Rabbi
Walter Lippmann – The Jewish architect of Australian Multiculturalism
New Matilda’s Marni Cordell, Chris Graham, Michael Brull and Jenny Green
Max Chalmers behind Sydney Uni’s Honi Soit
John Safran planted in the ABC’s youth targeted JJJ Radio
Jonathan Green and Eric Beecher behind Crikey
Morry Schwartz behind The Saturday Paper
The Q Society of Australia
Nick Folkes’ The Party for (Zionist) Freedom
Kierans Review
Alexander Gollan’s Anti Bogan
Danny Nalliah’s Rise Up Australia Party
Sherman Burgess’ The Great Aussie Patriot confusion
Australian Liberty Alliance – Geert Wilders, Andrew Horwood, Susan Horwood (Treasurer), Tony Robinson, Debbie Robinson (President) and Ralf Schumann (Secretary)
Australian Islamist Monitor
Nathan Abela & Ralph Cerminara’s Patriots Defence League (formerly the Australian Defence League)
Joseph Skrzynski as Chair of SBS
Chris Anderson
Anthony Berg
Professor Adrienne Clarke
Victor Fonda
Charles Goode
John Gough
Margaret Jackson
Graham Laitt
Paul O’Sullivan
Isi Leibler
Mark Leibler
Bob Mansfield
David Mortimer
Phillip Scanlan
Paul Simons
Stan Wallis
Labor’s Mark Dreyfuss
David Gonski
Harry Triguboff
Frank, David and Peter Lowy of Westfield and A-League
Anthony Pratt

Ivan Glasenberg
John Gandel
Solomon Lew
Charlotte Vidor
Naomi Milgrom
Ruslan Kogan
and others.

If Australia become a Republic we can ditch most of the bureaucratic crap we scored from the mother country and rewrite many of the laws we got landed with .

This is all a leftist con job. It’s the same with global warming and the so called “marriage equality” bullshit. Push unimportant issues that may get support from some of the 54% who are currently planning to vote against them, and that actually gets people listening to the likes of Shorten and Wong. And unfortunately there are far too many politically illiterate constituents out there who will fall for these tried and tested Fabian/socialist tricks.

I've got an idea. Why don't we just invite young Harry over to be the King of Australia and start our own Australian Monarchy. He seems a bit of a larrikin and should fit straight in. Only minimal changes with replacing the Governor General bits with the Monarchy bits and it would sideline the wankers like Fitzy and Turnbull. It would be better than letting any of these lefty progressive elites get their hands on the constituion?

What's all this shit about a Monarch v Republic the way it's going we will all be living under Sharia law before long Paul ffs.

Can just see it now. Australia becomes a republic. New constitution 14589 pages long. Of course it will include "human rights" passages that will probably take up around 3245 of those pages. Then we will elect a "popular" president. Who will we vote for? Bert Newton has decided to stand, he is a good bloke so I will vote for him. Or maybe Kylie Minogue? Of course we will end up the laughing stock of the world. Oh and by the way, get ready for election campaigns that go on for a year. Our current parliamentary system is envied by many, so why fix it if it aint broke. I don't trust any of our current parliamentarians at the moment to lead us down this path.

Seeing these 2 Morons Peter Fitz Malcolm again, I realised that Australia needs a 2nd amendment more than a "Republic".

As you say - a republic would make absolutely no difference to the way we live. England has effectively been a republic since about 1690 - and thus Oz is also a republic in all but name. The vast majority of people who want Oz to be a republic are (as you say) those of Irish descent.

Paul, I learnt long ago to buy the sausage, not the sizzle. FitzSimon is just another frustrated member of the loony left who don't understand that some people can actually think for themselves and don't need a political party or a clergy man to tell them how to think.

What dickheads like FitzSimon still don't understand is that while a lot of people - probably most - may want an Australian Head of State they still can't work out an acceptable system of electing one. Do we all vote on it and get a US system or some union-backed fool who thinks that only leftie legislation is OK or do we trust Parliament to elect one of their mates - like Gillard for example? The existing system may sound weird and anachronistic but it seems to work., well, unless you overlook that usurpers like the Greens and PUP game the system to block any decent legislation.

My stomach flipped when I read that "headline" in the Australian (don't subscribe) and wondered "which women"? I cant think of any women here that love the jerk.

You could empty your pistol into this clowns head and not damage any vital organs.

There is no way I'd be supporting the republican movement if this former rugby-come-media celebrity buffoon is involved. The guy comes over as an obnoxious prick!

Totally agree Grace and lol.

Is this dickhead putty-face Wilkinson's husband. The same putty face that got a gong!

The under 35s seem to fall under his spell. I can't understand why. But it seems to be so.

not me.....but there are a lot of dumbarses out there who believe everything he says....coincidentally, they are the same who hate Tony Abbott

Jack Warwick and Cynthia Johnson are behind the Mitchell Pearce video.