WHO READS WHAT!
Four-time Walkley Award winning political commentator and Churchill Fellow, has returned to the fray over concern that the integrity of news dissemination is continually being threatened by a partisan media.
This list has been sent to me by a number of readers… here is an edited version:
1. The Australian Financial Review is read by people who actually think they run the country.
2. The Canberra Times is read only by people who make a complete mess of running the country.
3. The Australian is read by people who think they should be running the country, and who are very good at cryptic crossword puzzles.
4. The Sydney Morning Herald is read by inner suburban green Marxist people who dream of running the country but don't really understand anything about it.
5. The Courier Mail is read by people who don’t want to know anything about the country but insist on staying in Queensland only so they can barrack for the Cane Toads.
6. The Age is read by mentally impaired green people who still barrack for Collingwood and have killed their parents so they can attend next year’s Victorian Orphans’ Picnic.
7. The Melbourne Herald Sun is read by people who have no idea who's running the country and don't really care as long as the odd bit of bum and tit is shown.
8. The Sydney Daily Telegraph is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as it reports on inebriated people bonking other inebriated people they really shouldn’t be bonking.
9. The West Australian is read by people in prison who used to run the State and want those out on bail to continue the tradition.
10. The Hobart Mercury is read by people who live off the mainland and are desperate for the Aussie Rules scores and the comics.
11. Crikey is read by pot smoking jobless people who are homosexual, handicapped, or minority feminist atheists who are sexually fluid, and only like Conservative politicians who have lots of unwanted, borrowed money.
12. The Adelaide Advertiser is read under candlelight, by totally blind vegan people in braille, who have nothing better to do while trapped in a line at a supermarket, waiting for the electricity to come back on.
13. The Catholic Weekly is read only by the Pope when he has run out of toilet paper.
14. The Northern Territory Times is read by partially limbed people who recently escaped a crocodile attack, and have just caught a fish that needs wrapping in something!
15. The Guardian is read by mentally constipated people who spend a fortune on Kleenex trying to wipe their arses on it because it can only be read on their Iphones.