The Pickering Post
Tuesday, 12th December 2017

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WELCOME TO COUNTRY

... our bloody country

Larry Pickering

Four-time Walkley Award winning political commentator and Churchill Fellow, has returned to the fray over concern that the integrity of news dissemination is continually being threatened by a partisan media.

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Us group of elders are mobilising up here and demanding recognition. Taxpayers won’t cop their $squillions a year goin’ to Aboriginal jokers who weren’t here first! We were here before all these footy players and we want recognition at every game of Aussie Rules, and that other game they play somewhere near Robina where they shove their hands up each other’s shorts.

We don’t want to cause any trouble just yet but we do need a serious “thankyou”. We want it performed at the start of each bloody game after we do our bit and offer a serious “Welcome to Country” ceremony to all the Aborigines.

We are demanding that all our council land rates be refunded because we were here first, so it’s our bloody land and anyway what for are we payin’ rates on our own bloody land?

We will eventually need a serious “sorry” for our stolen generation with someone who can                                                 cry as good as uncle bloody Kevin.

It’s a “sorry” ceremony for all them bloody Aborigines who heartlessly adopted all our young white kids who eventually became Aboriginal activists, you know bro, all them bastards who don’t know one end of a boomerang from the other but intimately know every inch of a bloody Centrelink office. Just ask Andrew Bolt.

It’s them who have given all of us original campers a bad name and given Bolt indigestion... it’s caused us all heaps of stress and we need to be compensated for that big time.

And you buggers can get that "VOLUNTARY INDIGENOUS IDENTIFIER" bullshit off your site immediately. https://www.humanservices.gov.au/customer/services/medicare/medicare-voluntary-indigenous-identifier where it says "You can fill out this form to identify yourself as whatever you want, You don't have to do this. It's your choice." 

"It's your choice?" Is it really? Are you gummint fellas goin' bonkers? You mean any bugger can call 'imself an original camper? Sheeeeeez, any more original campers and we'll all be rich black fellas with shares in zinc cream and coppin a weekly piece of them $squillions!

Have some respect you blokes for Christ's sake or you'll get a bone pointed at you!

Our kids and grand kids from now on are to get six months’ school holidays twice a year and the teachers must be hot and wear bikinis year round, (sheila teachers that is.) Serial truants are to be expelled for a full week and if they run out of petrol, stiff Chedda.

We will all need one of them new Range Rovers each full up with diesel and cartons of smokes and VB and lots of ash trays, oh, and dispensation for any speeding or DUI fines with no registration costs.

All that new housing we are entitled to we want built on Fraser Island where we will need you latecomers to this nation to deliver our allocation of turtles and dugongs on Friday arvos as we are too pissed to catch ‘em ourselves after midday.

 We want these houses renovated every year as there is bugger all driftwood up there, so we'll be needing it for cookin’ and a bit of foot stompin’ corroboree stuff after drinkies. And we need a Centrelink office on the north end of the beach staffed by sheilas in bikinis.

But you can forget that Constitutional recognition bullshit ... what for we want that? We recognise each other already. (Except for Myrtle and Gwyneth when they got their gear off last night.)  

And if you buggers think you gunna pay us our mining commissions with that fat fella’s nickel receipts, better think again ‘cos we're on the phone to BHP, and we already got a uranium deal negotiated.  

Anyway it’s only $2 a year membership to the Elders Tribe and as soon as we elect our office bearers we can go get our hands on a piece of them $squillions.

Lotsa members so far and Bolt has even put a deposit on a new Popemobile for George Pell. 

We'll also be starting our new tax-free, expense-deductible, government-grant-attracting cult called Antislam. Should be a bloody gold mine!

So we’re givin’ you political fellas fair warning 



Comments

So..... when Turnbull said he was a great communicator

(taking a bow), thank you ladies :-)))) and i reciprocate...you are both correct...genuine old money folk never talk about it (the laughable nouveau riche are only the butt of jokes, a totally different matter) and really brilliant people (ie, Stephen Hawking and Brian Cox) are generally very courteous and kind. they don't need to tell you they're clever :-))

Lights....indeed.

Not to worry ...

Ooops, two hours after it went up, always knew you were a bit slow, lol.

Where ?

Thorn, I read an interesting book recently on how the 'old-money' set (not the obscenely dangerously rich like Soros) but your usual run-of-the-mill wealthy family, live their lives, and tend to their money so it stays with the family. It astutely observed that if one is in a social situation, and another person there claims that they too come from 'old money', it's a pretty sure sign that the opposite is the truth, and you should run away quickly. I'd take a punt and say that fits this situation. You've been told here by someone that they're intellectual elites ! hahahahahahaha...take my millionaire friend's advice, and run ! because they are most assuredly not ! not intellectuals, and not elite. this is very amusing.

Bruce, when will you ever learn ? A lot of people disagreeing with you does not mean they're ' hunting with the pack ' ! It means a lot of people don't agree with you, how simple is that ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6dgE7Egh3I

Lol..looks like it....the only option methinks.....same as Turnbull who has apparently also gone to ground post his disastrous election.

pelican, that's part of the point of the book, 'Cape York: The Savage Frontier'. Another poster here put me on to it, to read it. Well worth the trouble. Hard to get hold of, though. Your local library may be able to requisition/borrow it for you.

I for one appreciate BK's knowledge, pompous or not.
At least he does not abuse all and sundry here when he's defending himself.
I've never seen him come in and attack every PP poster here when things don't go his way, white feathers are not his forte'.

SCOMO to Hadley this morning,or words to that effect Yes we are looking at the problem that WA is.only getting 38cents in their GST dollar. Are they completely blind ? They keep stealing money from WA and shoveling it into states that have not contributed for years. SA, TAS and have a good look at NT which receives handouts way beyond it's population. By the way, my own state is as bad but to say this mention those who would wish to stop it.Poor old "Cando". Meanwhile, back to the crap. 60 billion(Subs) to keep the prancing poodle in a seat in SA whilst Jay boy sucks on the teat Victoria on the bludge. A good WA premier looks in trouble at the next state election. Queensland is in the mire already. Tree huggers staging a comeback in TAS and NT. An A1 DUD prime idiot and treasurer.

Lol, BK comes across at times as a pompous know it all....I can see why other posters here can't resist having a go...and I'm fond of Thorn :-)

Dumb Ditto Dumb Ditto Dumb Dumb Dumb.
And VERY childish.
I told PRICKly when it first started posting here to come back in 20 years or more, get laid and get a life.
FOOL.

Flicked over to the Drum but couldn't stand the sight of those supercilious pricks but before I left I think they were talking up the positives of those ATO drop muslim toilets. Well, hope they've got them installed in their own homes for their special visitors!!

To whom to you refer here BK... sorry - just didn't get the drift?

Winston... not a word from Baird... gone to ground methinks?

Thorn... this post of yours above? Pretty dumb methinks.. not to mention rather rude!

I knew when Pauline got a guernsey it would usher in a golden age of satire, and she hasn't disappointed. Her facebook video imitation of taking a dump on a squat toilet is gold......maybe. Over to you Larry........http://www.skynews.com.au/news/politics/federal/2016/08/15/hanson-slams-the-ato-over-squat-toilets.html

You have it right Dracula!
It was said in past times BK... that children should be seen and not heard... perhaps it's time to rethink this one?