The Pickering Post
Thursday, 18th January 2018

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THE ICE FAIRIES ARE AT IT AGAIN

Larry Pickering

Four-time Walkley Award winning political commentator and Churchill Fellow, has returned to the fray over concern that the integrity of news dissemination is continually being threatened by a partisan media.

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The Australian Government Department of the Environment, Antarctic Division, has again departed for the southern ice cap, this time to count penguins, test the sea for “acidification” and find some more evidence of global warming. 

Apart from the Australian Government Institute of Marine Science and a few other marine biodiversity agencies, has there ever been a bunch of more expensive wankers with more expensive hobbies bleeding the public purse?

Yes, I understand we do need a presence there to justify the unjustified area of ice we claim as Australia’s, but fair dinkum, advertising for people to count bloody penguins?

“The work involves helping to ‘teach’ computers to accurately recognise individuals, which can be very difficult within large, crowded colonies”, a spokesman said.

At the last count some poor bastard was up to 18,346,211 when his girlfriend rang and he had to start again.

The Antarctic ice sheet has been expanding rapidly, confounding the exasperated warmists and forcing them to come up with a reason for the record cold. “It’s temporary” they say, “... something to do the wind.”

The Antarctic is an expanding area twice the size of Australia and these little ice fairies are determined to justify their existence on this planet by proving something... anything. 

It’s like drilling test holes on a little beach in the Kimberly trying to prove that a little beach in Bateman’s Bay is suffering irreversible seaweed loss, or acidification.

Another frolic of ice fairies is trying to prove increased CO2 levels at the northern cap, so they drilled down to 10,000 years ago but actually found increased levels of CO2 in the core samples. Shocking!

Because the samples of carbon dioxide were in defined brown layers, they reluctantly concluded it was due to volcanic activity, so they too decided to count penguins. 

Unfortunately they couldn’t find any (they were probably hibernating) so they are now counting walruses instead.

The reason ice has expanded to record levels at the southern cap is due to sea temperatures, not the bloody wind, although the wind plays a minor part. 

Now, I‘ve been interested in this stuff for decades and there’s no way I would try to explain it to the ice fairies, but you guys might be interested.

Three quarters of this planet is three-dimensional salt water up to many miles deep, and none of it just sits there. 

It is continually distributed around the globe via a thing called the Giant Conveyor.

Now, the ice fairies don’t understand things like size, volumes and time. On our one-dimensional land, all waste products eventually biodegrade and become mostly valuable carbon anyway. 

But in the oceans, everything including carcasses, fish poo and plant life, sinks to the sea floor and sits there dissipating and degrading in a bacterial bath... trillions of tons of the stuff, continually being replenished.

Okay, so oceanic bacterial breakdown produces energy and allows for little-known life to thrive without photosynthesis or light. But the process also produces massive amounts of comparative heat and, as with air, heat tends to rise, and it does. 

Surface water is actually colder due to the wind-driven evaporative process. 

Stay with me here because it gets a bit complicated. Salt water is more dense and therefore sinks more quickly than less salty water. 

The less salty surface water (it’s less salty at the surface because of convection, rainfall and cyclically melting fresh-water ice) stays at the surface until the bacteria-heated deep water rises to the surface and replaces it.

As with rising heated air, it must be replaced with air that is relatively colder compared to the ambient temperature. That’s why it’s colder on cloudless nights when solar generated and geographically retained heat rises, unimpeded by inversions, to be replaced by the sinking colder air. 

That violent movement of air, like we have now, gives us our storms and our October Equinoxial Gales (winds) to distribute seeds for Spring regeneration.

It’s the same heat exchange process in the oceans that creates currents (sea winds) within the Giant Conveyor.

But the oceanic process, although seasonal, is not as dependent on seasonal temperatures for regeneration as is the land. So it is a rolling never ending, never starting, permanent process.

Due to varying oceanic temperatures, ice caps will continue recede and expand cyclically over hundreds of years as they have done for four billion years.

And guess what that warmer, deeper oceanic water brings to the surface with it? YES!!! Trillions of tons daily of that awful bacteria-generated, life-giving carbon dioxide.

And still there are a few galahs left out there who think buying and selling carbon credits will cause the planet to cool. 

Well, let’s hope they are not successful because cooling will stop growth as quickly as a diminution in carbon dioxide will.

Then those publicly funded ice fairies will have more to worry about than counting bloody penguins.



Comments

If anyone can inform me of any place where the sea is naturally acidic, excluding areas where acid is spewing into the sea, e.g. at the mouths of undersea volcanos, I will give them $1,000.

Sounds like a system that has been designed to do the job of keeping Earth habitable.

I love this line: At the last count some poor bastard was up to 18,346,211 when his girlfriend rang and he had to start again.

The Antarctic is making so much ice, it is breaking off and floating away.

The reaction to IPCC's 5th report? Don't these guys ever give up? How many scientists in the world? What % is "1000s of scientists"? And how many of those scientists would lose their positions, status &/or income if they declare AGW a non-event?

Brad, during the cold war, I heard that Russia had built an airport in a West African country replete with snow ploughs. Used the same construction model as as the Russian airports.

"Scientists" trying to count penquins on the ground is a joke especially as NASA can do it accurately from satellite imagery, which by the way, has found that while this year's hole in the Ozone layer above the Antarctic is the size of North America, Stratospheric WARMING could be REDUCING OZONE DEPLETION. Google "News For Antarctica." Australia's" research" junkets are a joke!

What are the odds they will find a tightly compacted flock of thousands of penguins taking refuge on an ice block because global warming has depleted most of the other ice blocks,

I really hope they respect their penquins in the morning.

They look happier than they would have been stuck in an office for the last two years sitting on their arses waiting for the Government to decide what to do with them. Now at least they can play in the snow.

Umm It was announced only recently that the Antarctic Ice was at its greatest maximum ever since measurement started or for at least several decades(cannot remember). So that sort of screws the "greenhouse dog poop". I guess that they might as well count penguins and justify their presence and who knows? They might be lucky and see some live penguin porn.

These useless pricks have got justify their large salaries -----they are a bit like the Greens,Labor----they wouldn't have a clue.

rumpole, if you read dodos post carefully you should realise that dodo is one of the few people posting here who can see through this Political charade we have.

eric, I understand your logic but I can envisage these bludgers who have been sitting on their backsides for the last two years with furnished offices, company cars, mobile phones, computers and IT systems, a fully staffed resource department and everything else that goes with a Government Department. I bet you the accommodation is not Spartan. So why didn't they get them to do something useful like fixing up the Centrelink fraud.

and rumpole, the ETS is just a Carbon tax in disguise. The public are going to be fleeced half a billion dollars a year to reduce the emissions by 5% a year. Experts are saying this will be more like 4 - 5 billion $ a year. If we did a study on how much methane gas is released into the atmosphere through Fracking, apparently it is one of the great causes of Global Warming if you believe the science. Now, let's see who is going to stop the US from Fracking. Dream on rumpole.

Surely there would be more value in studying bipolar bears in any case. And why no studies of Cartesian Bears? To square perhaps.

dodo, Abbott on TV has just made another of his Classic statements. Talking about how the States want a fairer slice of the GST meaning more thanks, and there needs to be a discussion on the Tax take, Tony Abbott said" We have to make decisions which are fair to everyone". What do you make of that? Who do you think is going to get shafted again? Joe public.

The World seems to be divided into 2 diagrammatically opposed Camps.
Climate ALARMISTS v SKEPTICS.
MUSLIM v NON-MUSLIM.

There just is NEVER a MIDDLEMAN???
It's either BLACK or WHITE???
No COLOUR???

Oops - I mentioned the B , W , and C Words.... Now they'll call me a RACIST??

Shotgun, rumpole, it would be cheaper having these bludgers sit on their backsides instead of auguring a few holes in the ice, they would be just as useful. Did we fly them out, was a special vessel required, was it a cross ice expedition, was a special base required, extra pay allowances? If the answer is yes to any of these questions let them sit around and do nothing, maybe engage in useful cooperation with a commercial enterprise. If they are based in the Antarctic then they can dig as many holes as they wish until they and their just as useless bosses get a shirtfront.

How many times have you been shown a cloud of steam rising from a coal-fired power station and told it was CO2 pollution that must be stopped before it kills us all?