The Pickering Post
Saturday, 21st July 2018

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THE COALITION NEEDS TO FIRE ON ALL FOUR

Larry Pickering

Four-time Walkley Award winning political commentator and Churchill Fellow, has returned to the fray over concern that the integrity of news dissemination is continually being threatened by a partisan media.

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The timing is out, there’s little spark and what there is is retarded, the mixture is all wrong and it has a compression ratio of 2:1. Where’s the verve, the moxie, the passion from a vintage Party that was swept to power in record numbers? Where’s the ex-boxer with the guts to get up off the canvas, wipe away the blood, get on the front foot and start swinging?

I know Tony Abbott will read this so I’m going to tell him something that’s not in the Peta Credlin handbook:

I didn’t vote for you, but the people who did handed you a record majority, and they are now bewildered and shattered at the prospect of another Malcolm Fraser.

The art of politics is to stay on the front foot and you, Mr Prime Minister Abbott, have been on the back foot for almost 15 months. Forget foreign affairs and trade successes, no votes there, it’s all about domestic issues.

Okay here are a few pointers. Let’s face it, you have told lies, as all politicians do, but never say you didn't tell a lie... that makes two lies!

Next time Bill Shorten asks, “Why, as leader of your rotten stinking Party, did you lie to the Australian people on SBS the night before the election about cuts to the ABC?” don’t drag yourself the despatch box uttering a few ah,ahs, wearing a half-smile and fiddling with your coat button.

Instead, take the despatch box with both hands, pause, lower your head and your voice, face the discredited little man opposite with the stupid ‘gotcha’ grin: 

“I’m about to tell you something Mr Leader of the Opposition and I want you to listen very carefully and remember it!” 

Now you have the floor, this is unlike you, so ensure the silence remains by keeping your voice low.

“Yes I misled the Australian people on that election eve but I want you to now look over your left shoulder so you can see why. You see that aging man slumped low in his seat with the Coke bottle lenses? 

"He’s not on your front bench, and for good reason, you see, he’s the Member for Lilley, the man who repeatedly lied about phantom surpluses.

“But, Madam Speaker (your voice has now risen two octaves) far worse than that, he told every man, woman and child in Australia, including me, that his deficit was a mere $18 billion.” 

Now there is uproar, so it’s time to get serious. 

“There’s the man, look at him! He even lied to you, his own colleagues, and he lied to us, he lied to everyone. His deficit was in fact $43 billion and debt heading north toward $636 billion!”

Now Madam Speaker is on her feet demanding silence. Perfect! When the House settles wait 10 seconds. Your voice is once again low. “You see Madam Speaker, there sits the man who caused me to mislead the Australian people and I am very angry about that.”

The house is again in uproar but it’s too late, you’ve set the scene, the floor is yours and you really are angry, very angry. There are beads of sweat on your forehead, your face is red, your eyes wild, your body language is all attack, your voice is at its peak ... 

“How dare you rabble opposite blame me and my Government for trying to repair six years of your fiscal and moral turpitude? How dare you! How dare you now use the despicable Greens and your dated numbers in the Senate to prevent me repairing the unholy mess you left this nation in! How dare you!”

“Your time is up, Prime Minister”, says the Speaker and you return to your seat wiping the spittle from your mouth, Those behind you are tempted to stand and applaud, but they don’t. 

They don’t need to, they have just seen for the first time the pugilist with ticker they asked to lead them and Shorten will not ask that question again. 

Politics is about perceptions and theatrics, it always has been, and there are no successful nice guys. Trying to be all things to all people ensures you will be nothing to anyone.



Comments

er.....Ah.......Madam Speaker.......er.........ahhh.......
er..... could I please....er......get ....er.....
Larry....er.....Pickering to.... ahhhh ....write my.......er....next...er..speech...???

Mr Abbott please send all your MPs on a boot camp on how to present to misinforming leftwing media. Also, please send Malcolm to the back of the class. He is not as indispensable as you believe and he is deliberately pissing all over you. Please replace Hockey as treasurer. He does not know how to deal with Labor's mess. And, like Larry says, admit your bad promises and start giving it back to Shorten and his lying brigade in opposition. Lastly, please show some strength and real leadership, and go for public speaking lessons.

Well said LP. The problem is that Abbott is not only beating himself up, his team of cigar smoking, Friends of the ABC members are deliberately letting him down. We all have seen the good in Abbott through his charity and gentle behaviour, but he is now letting himself down by not confronting his enemies within.

I'm also disappointed, but don't forget.The people that voted him in also voted a giant handbrake into the senate. It ain't all his fault.

For any one who appreciates voiturettes and Cycle cars of the late teens and twenties of the last century Larry's piece of art is just wonderful. I noted a reader who needed a crank-handle. Guess that would have obscured the number plate!

It is time to get rid of both sides of politics and support the new parties and independents who have some great ideas like withdrawing from the UN convention of refugees ( should totally withdraw from that useless bunch of spongers)Stopping all Muslim immigration, introducing Citizens Initiated referenda )so WE THE PEOPLE can keep control of any Government) just to name a few

Been a Liberal voter for years but have turned away from them ten years ago. All politicians are tarred with the same brush. Until one comes along who will and can stand up for the people and this nation, I for will continue to refuse to vote.

Perfect. I wanna be there when you do it Tones. Let me know. Why did it have to be Larry to tell you to get the plum out of your bum and put some fire in your belly. You are giving your followers the shits... even if there's not enough of them trying to tell you. Talk to your mates and get that bloodsucking freakin' vampire Scott OUT of "their" ABC and put the rest of them on notice. And get it into your head Tones, your followers are NOT going to be there much longer. They have had enough. And while I'm at it... Thanks very much Larry.

All the moaning and groaning about a "Hostile Senate" is just so much crocodile tears! According to the official site, 132 pieces of Legislation have passed through the senate.
http://www.aph.gov.au/Parliamentary_Business/Bills_Legislation/Assented_Bills_of_the_current_Parliament
All the Abbottapologists can cry like babies! What they really need to do is get off their arse, stop crying and start addressing the real issues facing Australia like un-employment, Islamisation of our cities and towns, the Halal extortion racket on our food and dump all this PC crap! Abbot and other Ministers need to start thumping the despatch box and pointing fingers at miscreants on the Opposition benches and get the voices up about 25 decibels higher! In other words, stop acting like overpaid nancy-boys!

Says it all to you Rumpy.

rumpole 36, If you click onto Farcanal it gives an enlarged Avatar able to be read. It reads as "Go F--- Your Self" Lyndhurst Hotel, outback South Australia.

All Abbott has to do is get up and LEAD and not listen to his media advisors. He knows which way the wind is blowing but lacks the guts to do what is necessary. Then you look at both houses and not even a goat amongst the sheep there let alone a lion.

I think the car needs a new donk.

Nazi – an insult in use long before the rise of Adolf Hitler's party. It was a derogatory term for a backwards peasant – being a shortened version of Ignatius, a common name in Bavaria, the area from which the Nazis emerged. Opponents seized on this and shortened the party's title Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei, to the dismissive "Nazi"

You'd have to ask them. I'm sick of his crap.

Those Nazis that you cite...did they fight to retain their lifestyle?

FFS Rumpole. Now your trying to stand over others on this sight and tell them who they should and shouldn't converse with. I get it OK? You reckon Abbotts shit doesn't stink and even though his farts may give him away, you won't stand ANYBODY criticising him for being ineffective. Your choice but I'm telling you now you don't have a fcuking clue what you are talking about. Comparing him to Clay/Ali is STILL sycophantic, Abbott is still a disappointment, you will continue to vilify his detractors and how dare you to presume that you know what Abbott thinks about how this country should be. You egotistical nazi. By the way I love capitalism, I fought to retain this lifestyle, unlike you and your gutless kind who hide behind anonymous web sights and deride all who don't agree with you.

PS, if you can't or won't do it I am sure that Julie will

I have to say I am quite disappointed in Tony. He committed a humdinger when he said he wanted to shirtfront Putin but he can't seem to hang one on Shorten. I would have thought that Shorten was easy meat. Is he trying to tone down from the aggressive image he showed as Opposition Leader. If he is trying to show that he's Mr Nice, it won't work. Nobody thinks he's all that nice but they did respect him a lot - now that's fading away. Take your pick Tony. Time to kick ass!

Very good Hermes. Advertising works by repetition. Keep hammering it home.