The Pickering Post
Thursday, 18th January 2018

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TASSIE, THE LAND OF ODD

Larry Pickering

Four-time Walkley Award winning political commentator and Churchill Fellow, has returned to the fray over concern that the integrity of news dissemination is continually being threatened by a partisan media.

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It’s surprising the odd things Tasmania produces... things like Lambie, Milne, Wee Willy Wilkie, everything Green, a lot of things that are sexually confused and everything that’s Left of centre. 

This spooky little land of fairies, mushrooms and special frogs seems addicted to stopping stuff. It even got rid of all their Aborigines because they were rumoured to be lighting fires and eating goannas.

The last Tasmanian Aborigine, Truganini, was found stuffing the remains of the only goanna left down his/her gob, and now they’re both extinct. 

It seems everything in the Land of Odd is either endangered, like the Tasmanian Blobfish (pictured) or it’s heritage-listed or it's extinct!

They found something else to stop recently... the biggest Salmon producing joint on the island called Tassal. You see, the environmentalists and ABC journos have accused Tassal of having too many fish in the ocean and they want it stopped. 

Last I heard was that some trawler intended taking too many fish out of the ocean and they wanted that stopped too. 

Tassal uses the ocean to grow salmon to table size in huge nets and they’re doing pretty well at it... too well apparently. 

They are making an absolute motza from flogging these fish but apparently they have been discovered killing these poor little buggers the wrong way and smoking them. And that’s just not on!

Smoking anything down there, except marijuana, is frowned upon.

But there is nothing that comes out of Tasmania that could possibly surprise me, that was until I noticed a little Arabic motif on my packet of Tassal smoked salmon that said, “halal certified”. 

“WTF?”, I thought, as I raced to my little book of what Muslims mustn’t eat. And there is was: Buried among pork products and sexually abused goats was, “fish without scales!”, I knew it was there somewhere.

Now I’ve hooked a few of salmon in my time and I’ve never seen one with scales, in fact they’ve all got skin like a well-oiled Kardashian bum and it’s as smooth as duck shit. So how the hell did a salmon ever get on to a Muslim menu?

Very odd! I was intrigued and I kept having to remind myself that this was Tasmania. So I sent a list of questions to Tassal, pleading for an explanation.

“Dear Tassal,
1 Is it true you have employed a group of halal licensed Muslims from the mainland who are each given a tube of Superglue and a box of fish scales?
2 Is it true that when fish scales are in short supply it’s “halal okay” to use toenail clippings?
3 Is there another group of halal licensed fishmongers further up the production line who then de-scale the salmon?
4 When killing these poor little buggers are they facing Mecca via Asia or via the South Pole?”

I’ll let you know when I get a reply.



Comments

We wrote to Tassel.

I went to buy some salmon from my local supplier last week and when I was
offered Scottish salmon I insisted on buying the local (Australian) smoked
salmon ($40). When I got home I discovered the Halal certification seal on
your product. No doubt you pass the cost of this certification onto your
customers. Halal certification is a well known extortion racket that funds a
variety of Islamic and Sharia enterprises up to and including Islamic
terrorism. I have no desire to contribute to such activities so In future I
will not purchase any Tassal products and I will be advising my local
supplier.

I found that Tasmanian Tassal salmon tastes dry & devoid of flavor. Give me Queensland barramundi for flavor any day. If you buy fish & chips at a Tassie fish shop all you can get is shark (flake) or Malaysian flathead that tastes lousy.

Salmon, like trout, DO have sclaes. They are covered with a slick slime, that protects them form bacteria and germs etc.

ashly, you took the words right out of my mouth, BTW, we have a new article about feMANazism, perhaps you would like to learn something for once in your life

ashly - is that the best you can do ? Must be a bit sleepy after lunch ...

You and your kind will enslave the poor .... forever

WARNING, WARNING, COMMUNISTS AND ISLAMISTS APPROACHING

ashly gives the impression of being a pre-op tranny with a cheap and hairy boob job. . Spose I could be wrong. lol

ashly (and all his other Phantom identities) certainly has some sort of mental problem - attention seeking of a feeble mind.

What does he see himself as ? -- a missionary of the left spreading the Marxist word while telling us what fools we are !

G, so mentally ill she does not even know she needs help poor girl i feel sorry for her pathological illness http://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/online-forums/supporting-family-and-friends/narcissistic-personality-disorder-and-narcissistic-victim-syndrome-

Lady Pirate - nicely stated.

Just a troll - someone who has made no worthwhile contribution to society - just a bloody knocker ...

the baby fucker is back

here's another halal scam coming along, halal wine. http://www.egyptindependent.com//news/australia-mufti-says-wine-not-banned-islam

No more Halal contaminated Tassel for me.

The photo says it all. This is the true DNA of every Green in the World. You can recognise Sarah Two Twats at a thousand yards.

zathras, i had the same problem, every gay who ever hit on me denied the existence of a gay gene, said it was a lifestyle choice, i also agree with you both, the GLBT pride movement has been promoting this mental illness as being normal, natural and heallthy, which it is clearly not.

Very well put Zathras. Had a few problems with the grubby bastards in my youth. Invariably they were in positions of authority at work. Apart from one place which I left because the pervert was the owner I dealt with it by just telling the sods where to go. There's absolutely no doubt they target boys.

Ashly, I feel you have not had much experience in life. Preaching and picking on folk here is not the way. Have you ever been in a war zone, have you ever fought for you country like a lot of folk here on PP. Have you ever had to work 24/7 to keep a business going.Or are you just a self opinionated little shit who thinks the world only revolves around you way of thinking?

the pedophile is back

Hmm definitely a lead sinker where is the disagreement? Or did I embarrass someone? (other than myself : ))