STEPHEN HAWKING’S TIME MACHINE
Four-time Walkley Award winning political commentator and Churchill Fellow, has returned to the fray over concern that the integrity of news dissemination is continually being threatened by a partisan media.
Over many years I have listened with intense interest to Stephen Hawking’s string theorems and black hole time-travel fantasies, believing he must know more about the cosmos than anyone else. Now that he’s declared he is off with some rich Ruskie bloke to find intelligent life in galaxies and hitherto unknown solar systems, I’m convinced he’s been playing with his um, gums all along.
Locating foreign worlds with intelligent life is simply not possible for myriad reasons that Mr Hawking seems to ignore. For a start the Hubble telescope can only see what is no longer there so it’s pointless trying to locate what’s there, let alone identify it or communicate with it.
The search-for-life areas are millions of light years away and it’s taken nine years just to get to the farthest dwarf planet in our own solar system.
And we have never heard a radio signal from anything in space despite the fact we have been listening for decades. But here’s the real reason we will never locate intelligent life in other starry firmaments:
Man is a newcomer to planet Earth. If the Universe was born 14 billion years ago, as they say it was, man did not arrive until about 13.996 billion years later. If such time was represented by one 24-hour day, and the alleged “Big Bang” occurred at 12:00 a.m., then man did not arrive on the scene until 11:59:58 p.m.
Man’s maximum time on Earth during one 24-hour day would represent the last two seconds!
The next question to be asked is how much longer than two seconds will man spend on this Earth? I have no idea. Take a guess! Another thousand years maybe before we self destruct or some cataclysmic event does it for us as it did for the dinosaurs?
Ninety nine per cent of all creatures that ever lived on Earth are now extinct and that only accounts for land-based life. Imagine the effect of a sudden temperature change on reptiles that depend on nest incubation temperatures to define the sex of their young!
Some crocodiles species for instance, and it probably applied to dinosaurs, need egg temperatures below 31.7 degrees Celsius to produce females. Any temperature above that, up to 34.5 degrees, produces males and then a temperature above 34.5 degrees produces only females again.
So there’s a female, male, female ratio for crocodiles, which gets pretty bloody interesting when an unexpected ice age forces temperatures in tropical areas below 31.7 for extended periods, producing all female offspring.
If all eggs are rendered female over three or four generations it’s the end of that species. All other species would be affected by an Indonesian volcanic explosion that would block out light and photosynthesis for years, as has already happened.
What this all means is that even if every rogue Muslim State doesn’t acquire and use nuclear weapons, we still have a miniscule window of life on Earth before it’s snuffed out by any of a thousand catastrophes that will have little to do with a C02 gas.
Then it will take another few billion years before a single cell amoeba crawls out of the primordial slime and starts to adapt to a whole new range of conditions.
Intelligent life in the form of man has an existence only measured by the blink of an eye in the total life of any planet.
So if there was another solar system out there capable of supporting intelligent life similar to ours, first you have to find it, then it’s a million to one to strike a period when life existed on it. And even if you were that lucky you could only view what was there billions of years ago.
Then there’s no way to get there and even if you could, it would not be there when you got there because you can’t go faster than the speed of light and these imaginary fecund planets are millions of light years away.
But Stephen Hawking has something up his sleeve. Something called a time machine that lurks on the other side of a black hole that he can wheel his chair through to travel millions of light years back in time to meet these so-called intelligent little green people that were once there.
Then of course it’s quite possible these little green people aren’t intelligent at all, in which case it would be far easier for someone to simply wheel him through our Senate.