The Pickering Post
Tuesday, 12th December 2017

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PROPHETS OF DOOM?

Larry Pickering

Four-time Walkley Award winning political commentator and Churchill Fellow, has returned to the fray over concern that the integrity of news dissemination is continually being threatened by a partisan media.

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You might think when a bunch of oncologists gives you a very depressing prognosis, your remaining life turns to shit. In fact my life has been better ever since that depressing prognosis, except for not being able to play golf. 

My extraordinary wife has helped me recover 30 kilo in weight with her time-consuming, yummy cooking, and I see more of my family each weekend. 

My little boy is unaware of any prognosis but my daughter, who I made the effort to witness receiving her achievement award in Grade 3 this week, knows everything without being told. Somehow she just knows.

She has undertaken to give me 20 kisses a day and to tell me she loves me 20 times a day and so far she hasn't missed one day. If I have nodded off she leaves a beautifully crafted letter complete with clever and colourful little drawings on my chest. 

After school she cleans up my disgusting desk and puts all my paints and pencils in colour                                     order. Wow, it doesn’t get much better than that!

Each year my wife asks me what I would like for my birthday, and each year I say, “two sheilas”. Well, you wouldn’t believe it, this year she finally agreed, with only one proviso, “They both must be as old or older than you!”, she said.

Hmmm, so now she leaves these pics on my keyboard each day with a note and somehow I have lost interest in one of my bucket list.

                                                             "What a disgusting man!"


                                                           "His place or ours?"


                                                 "Can I borrow your shaver Merle?"


                                                        "I think that's his number."


                                   So I reckon I might just settle for underpants and socks.

 



Comments

Oh Larry, I am so shattered to hear about your illness. I am sending you all the positive energy I can muster. I am surrounded by the grim reaper. I have an incurable autoimmune illness which is slowly destroying my body. The man of the house has just had open heart surgery and has hopefully been given the chance at another 10 good years as long as nothing goes pear shaped. The best thing to do is get that bucket list done. There is something satisfying as you continue to tick them off. Hope you keep your wonderful cartoons coming. You brighten my day when I see them. I also love your stories. All the best mate. x

hugs to you love this article made my day made me see a different angle on bad diagnosis re my Daughter thank you , hang in there LP sense of humor is the answer .

God Bless Larry,I'll be saying a prayer to the Big Fella for you mate and see if he could you a pardon on this one.Take care,we all need more people like you,enjoy your comments immensely.You're a damn good Aussie.

Odds on.... Oldies Karma is comin down the pike. Absolutely no loyalties or trust amongst such conniving rats. Better stick with is 'poor' wife because every red blooded woman in Ozz today would be wanting to skin him alive. Hope Nik Savva sees a story or two in his philandering. Wonder if TA has the dirt on him and vice versa?

Has anyone nominated LP for AOTY 2017?

So a red blooded real Australian single woman had a one night stand with a weak as p.....zz bloke called Old-fella or something ?! So what!!! All the carry on is self righteous hypocrisy. Bet there was/were several blokes in and around politics would have liked to get it off with the good looking well shaped interesting young Pauline ...and they missed out!! AND are now sounding like jilted lovers!! Effen WIMPS and almost as miserable as the poor excuse for a male...Old-bloke!!

Hope all the Australian Lewinskies pop up now and sell their stories and clean the self righteous b.......ds out of our Government ..AND BUREAUCRACIES !!!

Pollies and the press are such hypocrits. They spend all day effnn the nation and tax payers and superannuitants and then hit the frre /cheap booze every night and PRETEND and LIE that many or most of them are as moral and pure as the driven snow?? God hates LIARS? Let THE woman or man who has not had a one night stand!? Committed adultery !? Had a blow job or gobble by a staffer or a stranger in the night ? Had anal sex? Masturbated ? Looked at porn ? Stand up and take an oath on The Good Book! People in Glass houses...as they say. C'mon 'Immorality misadventure' story investigator /author Nikkie S look at all the good revelations you can write about other beside Tony, Pauline and I guess Sonia!!??

Mrs Oldfield is an abused woman and doesn't know it ??? Poor woman ! denial at it's best.

Looks like those zombie movies aren't as fictional as thought , now we will be seeing it in real life in your nearest shopping mall ,blood and all.

ICE mimics Captagon.

A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained as usual " I have a headache"

"Perfect" says the husband " I was just in the bathroom powdering my dick with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository, it's upto you!"

...and his "field" was . . . ?

Lo and behold.. Since the election Shorten had been mouthing off about disunity in the Liberal Party. Now Labor had a good old fashioned factional brawl and tried to dump Kim Carr. Shorten himself stepped in to break them up all up and keep them apart. Who is laughing now Bill ???

muslims (sic) make their own women wear what amounts to a modern day ‘Star of David’ - the head scarf. Every time a muslim woman walks out of her house wearing the headscarf, it screams “We are different, and we have no intention of assimilating.”

I have no problem with muslim women wearing the headscarf (hijab) or the face mask (niqab) in their own countries. But surely, if they CHOOSE to move to the West - and even moreso, when they ‘invite’ themselves to come live in the West, they should drop this demarkation and blend in to the population. No Western male is going to lose his self-control because he sees an uncovered head of hair or an exposed face. I cannot say the same of some of the males of that Other Culture.

When will these politicians, feminists and Same Sex Couples go live among the people they "appear" to support, live with their communities? Lakemba anyone?

So Lisa's only interest is in his ability in bed? What a shallow piece that one is.

Shorten announces his shadow ministry and does his best to sound statesmanlike, but he only comes across as simpering, as usual. Despite the plethora of adjectives, and stilted and measured... pauses... he still gave the impression of a less than convincing car salesman trying to flog a trade in.

It's been around for a while and it is called Captagon; it is an amphetamine. Captagon has been available since the 1960s and was used to treat hyper-active kids because it improved their concentration.

But when taken in large doses by adults the speed-like drug masks feelings of pain, fear and hunger – and crucially makes troops feel they have super-human strength. http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/490681/Islamic-State-ISIS-Daesh-Drugs-Pills-Syria-Captagon-UN-United-Nations-Trafficking-War

In an attempt to stop the efforts of Albo to undermine the structure of the labor party wee willy has had to appoint two extra to his ministry. There is not a provision in a monetary sense for them to be paid for the promotion. So on order to remain Andrew Leigh has has to take a reduction in wages. The poor little thing has had his taxpayer salary reduced with a pay cut of $39.808, shock horror from $ $238.848 These figures, in thousands i just cannot comprehend. This is the Bloody opposition.