The Pickering Post
Tuesday, 12th December 2017

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ONLY IN THE MOVIES

Paul Zanetti

Paul Zanetti is a Walkley award winning syndicated cartoonist with over 30 years in the media. He blogs at www.zanettisview.com

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The Australian acting and entertainment celebrity fraternity, practising and rehearsing their bestest outraged faces and voices, has demanded Tony Abbott DO SOMETHING about saving the lives of the Bali heroin smuggling ringleaders.

“Grow some balls!” one demanded.

“Man up!” said another.

“Save our boys!”

“Tony, if you have any courage and compassion get over to Indonesia and bring these two boys home.”

Quick as a flash, the Australian Prime Minister jolted into action, swiftly rallying to the call of this week’s entertainment celebrity cause-de-jour, summoning the troops.

Peta Credlin was called into a national emergency crisis meeting to draw up plans for an all out assault on Indonesia.

“Quick – get me Chris Hemsworth – ON THE DOUBLE!!”, she barked at the Defence Minister. "Tell him this is a crisis of Kevin Rudd and Julia Gillard proportions. We need Thor and we need him now!!!”

“Next, get me Eric Bana! Thor can’t do it alone you know. We need all the might, brute force and scariness of the Incredible Hulk. And while you’re at it, get that Gladiator bloke…whatsisname…?”

“Um, Russell Crowe?” the Defence Minister queried nervously.

“Yeah ok, get him, too”, Credlin snapped back without a flinch. “We’ll get him to sing outside the Indonesian Presidential Palace. If that doesn’t break Widodo, I don’t know what will."

“Now…think….THINK…who else?”

"Well, there’s Wolverine – he’s one of ours, too. We could rally up our own team of Avengers. How about we call them the…Abbotters!"

“I like the way you think…err…who are you again?”

“The Defence Minister.”

“Oh, right. Now, what about Mad Max…is he still around?”

“Yeah, but our one’s a bit crusty these days. They have a new one but he’s not an Aussie. He’s a Pom I think.”

“Bugger. Anyone else you can think of. We need a woman?”

“The Black Widow?” the Minister suggested enthusiastically.

“She’s not an Australia….HEY! What are you looking at me like that for?"

“What about Tony in his speedos? He could lead the Abbotters.”

“Is he a member of the actor’s union?”

“No – I don’t think so.”

“Oh great! That’s a another diplomatic disaster we could do without. We’ll just go with what we’ve got. At least it'll shut those actors up for a while."

"Or we could just take all the scripts off them. That would do it, too!"

"Brilliant...um...who are you again?"



Comments

I have visions of 'Team America' and the FAGS Union coming to assist in this international 'disaster'.

Hulk? Wolverine? Mad Max? These aren't Australians, they're Yankee wankers. It won't be long before they think of exhuming Chips Rafferty so they can show them what an Aussie used to look like

In the USA people Vote in movie stars to run their government so who provides their script seeing they are professional actors just doing another job ?

Are they trying out for roles in the movie of this charade?

I think they'd all do well to stick to speaking lines that someone else has written for them.

An incredibly funny article Paul and but you have to admit they are brilliant actors even if I didn't recognize most of them.

This bunch of self-absorbed emototrons epitomise the look-at-me twitterati for whom seeming is more important than doing. If they were more than a bunch of self promoting onanists they would not have used the executions as a stage for their infantile wankery.

Does this support of drug pushers reflect a "habit or a need for drugs" on behalf of the supporters. I mean why else would you try and protect the live of two grubs whom are bringing drugs into Australia to ruin the lives of Australians? Befuddles me. Still with a drug pushers wife on the ALP front bench ( whom holds him up as an iconic example of a nice reformed drug pusher) what hope do we actually have in the war on drugs?

I used to say that actors who take partisan political positions are risking their marketability. i boycott actors who cosy up to celebrity politicians as does George Clooney and Martin Sheen etc. Now I can add some Australians to my list.

If one were to take the Progressive Socialist Media devotees ( which includes the Actors Guild ) out of the equation just how many fair dinkum Australians are really upset about these two drug pushers being shot. Certainly not a great many in my area.

it is a bit of a worry that so many Australians believe that the only reality is in the movies and that the words of movie-players are taken as akin to gospel.

See that wanker Geoffrey Robertson with his phony and ridiculous trying to be British upper crust, accent, preaching to the pathetic souls with candles in Martin Place. Martin Place has only one memory for me recently; where those two innocents lost their lives because of that mad islamist thug, an illegal allowed to stay by KRudd or was it Juliar?

haha...you're funny

How true Paul, relevance deprivation becomes the acting class. Appreciating their acting abilities is one thing, meddling in national and international politics is a measure of how far left the galahs in the video really are. Any opportunity to try to make mileage by sticking it up our PM shows how out of touch with reality they are also this feeble attempt feigning moral outrage is poor form. As if Abbott hadn't done all that was reasonably possible to spare those blokes the death penalty - wake up to yourselves and show some respect for our PM. Wankers the lot of them...

At least we now know who the dick head actors are. People have to remember these people are celebrities not diplomats and their feelings are worth no more than ours if we still believe we are an egalitarian society....mmmm...and also remember these people make a living at pretending to be someone they are not they are deceivers. Their rants were simply Leftard Fucktard Tony haters why did they not call on Bull Shitten or Tanya has a Drug Dealer for a husband, he is one with his Muslim Brothers and she has the inside dope on how this stuff happens. Hang on what did these pair say.................? Unfortunately these guys were criminals who rolled the dice and lost!

'Save our boys', wtf are they on, oh right, I forgot, these folk are 'artistic', therefore they take 'supplements to help them 'create'.

Good one, Paul. Reminds me of that old one with George W and Condy

In times of need bring out the best of leaders, S'Anguish to the fore, all it take sis lotsa tax-payer loot & S'Anguish will lead a full-blooded charge into Indon!

they are wankers!

Truth Has Been Murdered.

Paul Craig Roberts
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The Obama regime and its neocon monsters and European vassals have resurrected a Nazi government and located it in Ukraine. Read this statement by Elena Bondarenko, a member of the Ukrainian parliament.
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http://slavyangrad.org/2015/04/18/statement-by-elena-bondarenko-peoples-deputy-of-verkhovna-rada-of-ukraine/
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The Western media has created a fictional account of events in Ukraine. The coup organized by the Obama regime that overthrew the elected democratic government in Ukraine is never mentioned. The militias decked out in Nazi symbols are ignored. These militias are the principle source of the violence that has been inflicted on the Russian populations, resulting in the formation of the break-away republics. Instead of reporting this fact, the corrupt Western media delivers Washington’s propaganda that Russia has invaded and is annexing eastern and southern Ukraine. British and European politicians parrot Washington’s lies.
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The Western media is complicit in many war crimes covered up with lies, but the false story that the Western media has woven of Ukraine is the most audacious collection of lies yet. Truly, truth in the Western world has been murdered. There is no respect for truth in any Western capital.
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http://www.paulcraigroberts.org/2015/04/28/truth-murdered-paul-craig-roberts/