OH WHAT A FEELING!
Four-time Walkley Award winning political commentator and Churchill Fellow, has returned to the fray over concern that the integrity of news dissemination is continually being threatened by a partisan media.
Twenty six year-old internet blogger, Kiran Gandhi ran this year’s London marathon without a tampon knowing she had her period. In a message to the sisterhood she said, “I felt kind of like, Yeah! Fuck you!, I felt very empowered by that, I did... I ran to say, ‘it does exist’, and that we overcome it every day.” Every day, eh? That’s some sort of Guiness record isn’t it!
She explained that she had started menstruating the night before the race but had decided to make a statement and not wear a tampon.
Well I’m only a bloke blogger but wow, I would like that feeling of empowerment too. So this morning I thought I’d send a message to the brotherhood... fellas, you would have been proud of me.
There I was in my trackies jogging up to the shops to get a quart of milk and a packet of crumpets having forgone my usual ten minutes on the crapper.
After a moment or two of steely concentration I had this marvellous feeling of striking a blow for the blokes... it was an exhilarating sensation as yesterday’s lunch clung to the inside of my trackies before finding its way to my socks.
I explained proudly to the Taiwanese lady in the shop that this was a watershed moment for blokes around the world and that we fellas were now being liberated. “This is an admission that we actually do crap once a day and we should not be ashamed or self-conscious about it”, I told her.
The Taiwanese lady, although she had a contorted look on her face, must have been proud of me too because she didn’t even charge me! She just threw the milk and crumpets at me and told me to get out!
I breathlessly arrived back at my front door and, with a few stray dogs in tow, told the wife and kids of my out-of-body experience.
They seemed unimpressed as they turned the garden hose on me. But no amount of cold water could douse this bloke-defining moment.
I called my mates to tell them, but they hung up on me. So I texted them:
“fellas, you need to make a stand too, it’s liberating for us all. We need to show that our bodily functions are not something to be ashamed of.”
Funny, but no-one called for golf today.