The Pickering Post
Wednesday, 19th December 2018

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LOOK AT WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN THERE

Larry Pickering

Four-time Walkley Award winning political commentator and Churchill Fellow, has returned to the fray over concern that the integrity of news dissemination is continually being threatened by a partisan media.

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“God! We can’t just sit here and watch this crap! ” “What’s the problem my son?”, asked God. “Look down there, thousands of them, all in masks and cutting other people’s heads off and shooting and bombing things. It’s not very Christian of them.”

“Oh that mob”, said God, stroking his beard, “there have always been a few odd black sheep in my flock... some bloke called Mohammed led them up a garden path. I think he turned up some time after you, Chris.”

“Mohammed! Who the hell is Mohammed?” asked Chris. “Who cares?” said God. “Some galah with a decapitation fetish... he organises lots of virgins, they should be around here somewhere.”

“Oh that’d be right”, said Chris, “so you let Mohammed organise all the virgins while I haven’t seen a bit of crumpet in two thousand years!”

“Get over it, I organised those Women’s Weeklies with all those bra ads for you, anyway, pour me another wine will you.” 

“Get it yourself, you really should be more responsible! I mean, what about this ‘peace on earth and good will to all men’ stuff?”, asked Chris, who by now was getting a little hot under the collar.

God stifled a yawn and reached for the wine cask, “Settle down Chris, how many damned religions do you want me to monitor? As long as they all believe in me I’m happy.”

“That’s all right for you, it wasn’t you who got crucified for the sake of mankind, was it? Oh no... you just sat here and copped all the glory! 

"Look, I’m bloody over this”, said Chris, “I’m returning and I’m gunna kick that Mohammed bloke right up the arse!” 

“You can’t”, said God, “he’s dead, so pass me another bun and a bit of that fish will you?” 

“There’s none left” replied Chris. “So he’s dead eh? I s’pose you got him crucified too!”

God leaned forward, cupping his face in his hands, “You don’t know how good you’ve got it ol’ son... you’ve only got one religion to look after, I’ve got hundreds of the bloody things and every single one of them thinks they’re the only one, so if they want to go round killing each other that’s fine by me.

"And anyway, what if you did return, how are you going to fix it? You can’t even organise me another bun!”

“Look”, said Chris, “We can’t just sit here and let all these Mohammed wankers take over! I mean, Christ almighty, he’s just a Johnny come lately and have a look at what they’re all doin’ down there in his name. I’m goin’ back.”

“You’ll get crucified again”, said God, “and this time I’ll wash my hands of it and you can bloody well stay there!”

“So you’d forsake me again?” asked Chris with a soulful look.

“All right, let me have a talk with this Abbott bloke, he always listens... if he can fix up that mess left by Rudd and Gillard, he can fix any bloody thing. 

“By the way, that cask is empty.”



Comments

Those in the Harry Potter movies are not real dragons. I think my first wife was a real dragon.......

Firstly I meant where's the harm in a bit of humour, secondly please don't call me mate.

A MESSAGE FROM PHILBO. A MEMBER OF THE TRUE RELIGION OF PEACE....HERE IS IT IS...........philbo 13 minutes ago
Grenade, I would rather gut you with a blunt rusty bayonette. With no respect Muzliumoscor.

I have a suspicious feeling that the bloody U.N. is behind this Ebola outbreak - in a bid to unite all the countries to be under one Government - Agenda 21. If this fails, then we will be subjected to blasts , incessant blasts of Alien spacecraft invading earth and we will have to unite under one Govt to fight these Alien invaders. They must think we are imbecilic or worse ... ignorAnuses!

It is more commonly referred to as "The End Of Times".

"The churches have largely lost their way ? ". People are now waking up to the bullshit that is religion in all it's forms and are not following mindlessly and blindly like sheep without asking questions. Religion is a man made phenomena and should one wish to follow and spend time on your knees etc. feel free to do so but that won't make it anything other than the fraud that it is. The blind leading the blind.

"The Great Deception New World Order & Muslim Brotherhood" - Watch this documentary on You Tube in its entirety, and you will understand what is behind radical islam and islamic agitation in the western world. And it will only get worse unless western do-gooder politicians wake up to reality and stop being so bloody naive!

Think this is light and funny - but daresay you will cop flack - not much sense of humour around these days.

Think this is light and funny - but daresay you will cop flack - not much sense of humour around these days.

What's the harm?

I'm with you g2. I'm a Christian and What

true - too many young men with no jobs, suppressed by some ridiculous "religion" - women the underdog (where is JG's famous speech now?) - for heaven's sake - they are still BC - I wonder if any of them know what they are murdering for.

This is the 21st century for goodness sake. There's no such thing as God. Fucking grow up.

Oh fuck here we go

Exactly

My grandfather did have tits, my grandmother was quit beside herself

It is not part of my identity

There is every probability that if the Christian religion was never manufactured so many things would have been different so Islam would not be, at least not as we know it. For one they would have one less Prophet.

Are you saying Christians cannot laugh at themselves ?