DEAR Ms BISHOP
(not the talker one, but the one who has foreign affairs)
Phoebe is an 8 yo who attends Lloyd Street State School in East Malvern Vic. and she asks a lot of really important questions.
I heard you are going to ask Iran to take back our Iranians. I know you are asking them especially about Mr Dastyari but could you please also ask them if they will take our neighbour, Mr Fahkhaed, back too?
Poor Dad, he has had our house on ebay for months now and the only bid he's got was $14 from another Mr Fahkhaed.
I’m worried now because every time Mum comes home from shopping, Dad picks out everything with a hello label on it and chucks it at Mr Fahkhaed.
Dad’s back in jail again now ‘cos a jar of Vegemite got Mr Fahkhaed fair in the cobblers (shoes I think that is) when the whole family was praying in the back yard. And one of Mr Fahkhaed’s wives still can’t find that packet of Coon cheese he threw at her.
To be honest Ms Bishop, I think my Dad has really lost it. He’s been wearing a burkah so the Fahkhaeds can’t identify him but Mr Fahkhaed thought Dad was one of his wives and went for his private parts, which only made Dad more angry.
The police are threatening to confiscate our pet piglet after Dad trained it to jump the fence. Golly Ms Bishop it was bedlam. The Fahkhaeds took off to the corner mosque while our pet pig began humping their pet goat and now our pet pig won’t come home.
Mum said it would be lovely if only we could all get on like those two.
I miss my Dad and he starts home detention this week so please Ms Bishop, can you mention the Fahkhaeds when you’re asking about Mr Dastyari?
Aged 8 (and three quarters)