The Pickering Post
Tuesday, 13th November 2018

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Dear Ms Bishop (the one who has foreign affairs, not the helicopter one)


Phoebe is an 8 yo who attends Lloyd Street State School in East Malvern Vic. and she asks a lot of really important questions.


Can you please help me cos my Mum went next door to borrow a cup of sugar from the Farkhaeds and she hasn’t come back. And now Mr Farkhaed seems to have an extra wife... we definitely counted five yesterday.

On their way to Friday prayers at the corner mosque Dad tried lifting the burkas to find out which one was Mum but he said he couldn’t tell cos they all had no undies on, and wouldn’t you know it, Mr Farkhaed called the cops on him again.

Golly Ms Bishop, Dad’s only just finished home detention after our pet piglet (the one he trained to jump the fence) got Mr Farkhaed’s goat pregnant.

Poor Dad he never seems to get more than one week at home in a row since the Farkhaeds moved in. And we still can’t get a bid of more than $14 for our house on Ebay.

But I am really worried more now Ms Bishop cos Grandma has just rented this burka from the fancy dress shop so she can find out which one is Mum cos she reckons Mr Farkhaed has indoc..., indoctorat..., she reckons he has mozziefied her.

She plans on pretending to be a Seventh Day Adventist so she can get in the front door.

I understand you are trying to de-mozzify some people Ms Bishop, but if I count six wives following Mr Farkhaed tomorrow, poor Grandma will have been mozziefied too and I reckon Dad won’t be game to lift any more burkas.

Poor Dad... and all because he chucked the sugar back at the checkout lady cos it said it was hello certified!

Hope you can help, Ms Bishop,

Love, Phoebe 
(aged eight and three quarters)


Correction : He gets a pay rise of $100 ,not the shrink .

Phoebe , tell your father to have himself declared mentally insane which he can do free of charge seeing the government will pay for 6 appointments with a shrink who will gladly take government money who will make sure he needs all their support to be deemed bonkers just so they can get a pay rise from Newstart which is about $100 per week and seeing he would then be declared bonkers he would then be reclassified and the next time he gets arrested for upsetting his next door neighbour he would find himself in a more comfortable prison cell and would receive a shorter sentence all because the Muslims had made him into the person he is now and his shrink will vouch for it and seeing their services are excepted by the government then their official report has to be seen to be valid .