DEAR Ms BISHOP (the one that has foreign affairs)
Phoebe is an 8 yo who attends Lloyd Street State School in East Malvern Vic. and she asks a lot of really important questions.
My Dad calls you the Stick Insect because he said you would need to run around under the shower to get wet. Mum calls you the Stick Insect because she said you eat your partners’ heads off after sexting with them, like you did with Mr Abbott. Anyway I need your help Ms Bishop.
Dad is in terrible trouble with the Farkhaeds again next door, and all their friends, I just know it. Dad got six weeks community service from the judge so he got a cleaning job at the local mosque and he has been buying tons of super glue. I just knew this meant trouble for Dad who we really want out of gaol for this Christmas.
I snuck into the mosque last Friday and everything seemed normal. I went back this Friday and everything looked exactly the same… EXACTLY the same Ms Bishop!
And Mr Farkhaed’s wives at the back haven’t moved either and Mr Farkhaed says that they will all be penguin at the same time if he can’t get something done.
His goat has been standing still for nearly a week too, which makes things easier for Dad’s pig.
But Mr Farkhaed will be furious if his goat has another baby before he gets the DNA results back from the first one so he can sue Dad.
We are expecting the police to knock on our door any minute now.
Good golly Ms Bishop and Dad has just realised the super glue is hello certificate and now he's really mad. So he says he's going to wear a burka for his next court appearance and he'll refuse to stand up for the judge.
Things must be getting to Dad because he is becoming quite Mozzie lately.
(aged 8 and three quarters)