The Pickering Post
Monday, 18th June 2018

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BOB THINKS IT LOOKS NICE OUT

Larry Pickering

Four-time Walkley Award winning political commentator and Churchill Fellow, has returned to the fray over concern that the integrity of news dissemination is continually being threatened by a partisan media.

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So good ol’ Bob Hawke had a predilection for getting his gear off? Hmmm, tell us something we don’t already know. Bob always thought it looked better out after a few beers and the stories are many and quite comical, particularly those emanating from my old drinking hole, the ANU Bar at closing time, which was any time the next day.

At a Canberra Press conference Bob had sworn off alcohol in preparation for his stint as PM and I recall a cartoon I drew the following day: Bob was reading the headlines at breakfast with Hazel and saying, “Bloody hell, I must have been pissed saying something like that!”

As likable as Bob was, he is, and remains still, an alcoholic. But you have to admire his candidness and his dedication to dousing the demon that stood between him and high office.

But Bob was never a nasty drunk, he was funny and adventurous when tanked and how he remains alive is a still a mystery. Often, after Bob had quaffed his 17th beer at the ANU bar, his clothes had disappeared and he was scrambling on to the roof warbling “Solidarity Forever”. No-one could coax him down except for the members of the local Canberra fire brigade who promised never to disclose the regular incidents, and they never did.

After another late session on the slops, and again without a stitch on, Bob had decided to go swimming in the ANU fish pond. It was a well executed dive but unfortunately the pond was no deeper than six inches and Bob had left half his chest and thighs on the concrete base. He was a bloody mess but apparently had felt nothing as he conducted an interview on Channel 9 a few hours later, with his eyebrows independently moving up and down in earnest thought.

How times have changed. I can’t imagine the Press ignoring any similar antics performed by PM Abbott.  Hmmm.

But Whitlam was a different kettle of fish. He was the inscrutable egoist who never duelled with the demon drink and never ventured where we mug lairs go. He even sued me for drawing a tiny donger on his flabby frame. I always drew Gough covered in band-aids and his donger on the yearly calendar was no exception. But he had claimed the band-aids suggested a social problem and was determined to drain me of $500,000.

He eventually dropped the writ. Apparently Gough was not as keen as Bob to expose exhibit A to a full courtroom.

It’s a shame media have lost the art of reporting rough and tumble politics. But to be fair they have recognised the gravity of someone who may have punched a wall some 35 years ago.



Comments

I heard he had a permanent erection because his dick was too short to hang down.

Thanks mate, but you're wrong about the mainstream media. They still carry a lot of clout, as evidenced by the polls. However I am surprised that they've narrowed to almost 50/50. I've been a monitor of political polls for decades, and the latest swings are like nothing ever seen before. Even the Tampa swing was only 3.5%. Shit, I'm rambling, thanks again mate

It's not just that he's the leader of the left, it really is that he's such a nasty evil little turd. I call him "Sneering Shorten", because every time he talks about our supposedly "unfair"government, he sneers, which makes him look like the creep that he is. I don't remember opposition leader Abbot ever sneering.

Forget the drink Larry, where is the reporting of sexual misconduct. Remember Ross Cameron, the Liberal politician from Parramatta who lost his seat after admitting to having an affair. Shit, you could fill six pages about the affairs of the federal parliamentary Labor Party. They should actually be in the Sex Party because they are all into each other. Gillard's affairs were bad enough, but the worst culprit of all, Shorten the rapist, gets a completely free ride. Our biased media (main stream) is beneath contempt.

That about spot on of how the labor politician's are with their policies and reality like a 97 years old sexual drive.

Larry, your last paragraph neatly sums up the intellect of large sections of our current media.

They say Professor Gillard was the female equivalent to Bob Hawk????

No fire ants in ACT.

...and then Blanche turned up and said, " leave the old bugger as it is !!!!!! "

Bruce: Good to see you still have a sense of humour old mate.

Hard hitting joke,that.

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!

UTW: 1
Drongo: 0

You need to grow some fella.

Not interested in any of your girlfriends dodo. Wanker,.

Some good news, he has asked his aide to bring in a coin.

Smoking too much weed and having hallucinations are you dodo? If you don't like new posters how about you get Pickering to post something saying 'new posters stay away'? Wanker.

We are all a bit gun shy Bob.There have been so many that have changed their Monikers that it is impossible to tell whom is your enemy here at the moment,,and there are a few around(enemies). So stick with us,you will fit in or you wont and you will soon get to know the good from bad and the silly from mad.

A politician who will remain nameless, but who everyone tells me was a "real good bloke with a penchant for removing his clothes" - (I can't begin to imagine who they were referring to) - had a girlfriend, I believe she was a flight attendant, who I'm told decided she would move on and have a life of her own a little earlier than "the real good bloke" was ready to let her go.

Is there anyone out there who can tell us what happened to her on her wedding day?

All new posters get this crap do they? Really welcoming stuff.