The Pickering Post
Friday, 20th April 2018

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AIDS CURE DISCOVERED BY ABC's Q&A

Larry Pickering

Four-time Walkley Award winning political commentator and Churchill Fellow, has returned to the fray over concern that the integrity of news dissemination is continually being threatened by a partisan media.

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It took a little coaxing but a typically carefully selected audience attending the ABC’s infamous Q&A program, convened last night to discuss AIDS, inadvertently unearthed a foolproof cure for the disease.

The announcement of a cure came completely out of the blue when one of the gay male panellists, sporting the obligatory pencil-thin moustache, implored an audience of anxious, pasty-faced blokes to get themselves a good supply of “morning after” pills.

Well, I nearly choked on my cup of tea... there has been a preventive cure all this time and no-one realised. Even the Hon Justice Kirby, who desperately wants to marry his mate, shifted in his seat.

So, there it was... if you don't stick your dick in the bacterial bloodbath of another bloke’s bum, the disease magically doesn't occur? That’s amazing! But, if you find yourself in a position where the urge is irresistible, for God’s sake remember to take your “morning after” pill.

It’s almost certain to prevent your partner getting pregnant and is said to stave off HIV/AIDS at the same time! So, if you intend pirouetting up Oxford street in your fishnet singlet and chaps this Saturday night take a pocketful because it’s manners to give your partners one too.

Oooh, all that that sounds a fraction homophobic, and heavens to Betsy I don’t want to appear “fearful of the same” (which is what the word coined by the gay community means) so maybe a few facts wouldn’t go astray.

New South Wales (which has three times the prevalence of AIDS cases as does the next highest State of Victoria) as at December 2011, had 20,683 male cases of HIV/AIDS and 1,364 female and transgender cases.  

Now, I don’t want to go pointing the finger, but it does appear at least 95% of cases of HIV/AIDS involves blokes.

Now why would that be I thought, putting my thinking cap on? Well most women I know don’t have dicks, so the disease must have something to do with blokes' dicks and blokes' back bottoms.

But hang on, most women have back bottoms too and only 5% of them contract HIV/AIDS, and that’s just not fair! So I rolled another smoke... this will take some figuring out.

And then it dawned on me; Only 5% of the 95% of blokes who are HIV positive are switch-hitters! Of course! They like bottoms in general! So if anal sex with a female partner is categorised as a heterosexual activity, and it is, then it explains why females have such a low contraction rate.

And the poor switch-hitter needs three “morning after” pills because, if he decides to attack a front bottom for variety, he’ll need one to prevent his partner getting pregnant and one each to prevent AIDS.

Bloody hell, now it’s getting complicated because, if the evening’s costs are to be shared, then the two “morning after” AIDS pills are free and the pregnancy one costs a fortune. Try working that out on your recreational drug of choice.

Bugger it, I’ve got a headache now and have never felt less like sex in my life, so I’m off to bed and switching off Q&A yet again!

It’s funny but I’ve never seen the end of that show, can someone tell me if it improves as it goes?



Comments

Hello.
I am Lisa Thomas from USA Florida.I want to make a testimony of what Dr OBAZE did for me. He cure me from HIV and heal my swollen legs and now i am heal and i am count among the healthy people in the society i am happy and please with.
If you are same and you need help of any problem please do contact Dr OBAZE for you to have a better life time.
EMAIL= [email protected]
PHONE NUMBER= 2348157905793
WEB SITE=http://obazespiritualtemple.webs.com
REGARDS.
LISA THOMAS.,.

Hello.
I am Lisa Thomas from USA Florida.I want to make a testimony of what Dr OBAZE did for me. He cure me from HIV and heal my swollen legs and now i am heal and i am count among the healthy people in the society i am happy and please with.
If you are same and you need help of any problem please do contact Dr OBAZE for you to have a better life time.
EMAIL= [email protected]
PHONE NUMBER= 2348157905793
WEB SITE=http://obazespiritualtemple.webs.com
REGARDS.
LISA THOMAS.

First time I've seen this post Larry... Shitodear. Someone should be sacked. Some of it is absolutely brilliant.

YESSSSSSSS.... So I've been in possession of the cure all this time and shouted it from the fucking roof tops, TO NO AVAIL. And all it had to come from was a bloody AIDS Conference? And they've been sticking it into each others garbage disposal units all this time, risking it? because they get a hot flush.. and afterwards tell each other "I love you?"

I'td be a pain in the butt to be Gay.

Any one remember the old version of Bunnings, with Joe the Gadget man? Knock em Kirby!

Anal Inserted Death Sentence!

Bugger it ? God, I hope not - doing that would destroy your argument

What if the woman uses a strap-on to bum-hump the bloke who is pretending to be hetero - and the strap-on had already been used on another bloke?
Does that make him poof-by-proxy? Does that make her a ball-busting-bitch (since women who act like blokes are labelled in that manner)?
Now my head hurts too :(

May I push in your stool

First time I've ever watched it, and will be the last. Tony Jones is a smug self satisfied smart arse

I think it's his partner of 45 years. Lasted longer than most hetro marriages.And stevo your comment makes me want to vomit.

What a sad looking pair.

I see John Travolta has been outed by his pilot.

Who is that faggot hovering behind pineapple face.

Davenports just wondering, is wee Willy wearing a singlet or training harness of late. Viewing Parliament, Wild Bill, thatfirst Rooster, he looks a fox in the Hen House, with The sumptuous bevy suit wearing hairy arm pit gals proudly sporting Timmy faunkempt lady cuts. Seeing Billy in question time, his excited like a fighting cock, with all those egg laying hens on both sides. His facial expressions in parliament show he just can't hold out for the bell to toll, so he can enthusiastically feed the the chooks again. Wiffff OK, Bills, known as Mr Blibber, is that dark horse gonna dothe Plibber??See him gesticulate, hands in pockets towards the exotics, SHY, Pune with Rehannon from behind. Hens everywhere, Willy generously feeds the chooks? Get ya roc off Rox on?

Don't be a dirty dog, hey, Waldo? You still beating hammer and tongs on the BONGO????

If we had a, Statue of Liberty, she would be crying now. What is happening to our country!!

The look on Justice Kirby's face tells me that getting it up the kyber is not the way to go.

He looks like a person who shouldn't be judging others.

Simplistic is all those morons at the ABC understand. Get the commos out now.