The Pickering Post
Friday, 15th December 2017

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101, BUT ONLY SO MANY NIPPLES

Larry Pickering

Four-time Walkley Award winning political commentator and Churchill Fellow, has returned to the fray over concern that the integrity of news dissemination is continually being threatened by a partisan media.

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Abbott’s problem is that he was too successful in killing off Rudd/Gillard/Rudd. A litter of over 100 is unwieldy, unhappy, uncontrollable and unproductive. History is littered with many huge majorities that ended in tears. Campbell Newman’s the most recent.

The Liberal Party has governed with the aid of the Nats for 41 of the past 61 years and each time, after a spell in Opposition, the Labor Party proves to be a disaster ending with a landslide back to the Coalition. The Coalition then sinks under the weight of that huge majority, there are simply too many mouths to feed.

It requires a majority of 76 Lower House Members to form government, and even that’s too many, particularly when promotions have to be shared with the damned Nats.

Notwithstanding Abbott’s terminal faults, the problem is this; many marginal seats are won by no-names with no talent who are confined to the back bench and have spent their last dollar to get elected. They haven’t had a job for at least two months while on the hustings but are finally rewarded with a healthy pay packet for at least the next two or three terms. Ripper!

But now spousal expectations are a new car, new fridge, new carpet and a patio out the back, all on hire purchase of course.

I mean hubby’s got a government job now and the kids really should be going to a better school.

So, when after 18 months it’s clear the Prime Minister (who hubby has only met once in the toilets) proves a disaster and the polls suggest a landslide back to Labor, the missus has a real migraine every night and she reads the paper to him at breakfast each morning explaining the ever increasing amount by which he will lose his seat next year.

“Just look at this”, she says. “Bloody Shorten of all people is preferred 60 to 40 over your Abbott!”

“Settle down darling. That figure of 60 includes Labor voters who would never vote for Abbott anyway.”

He’s right of course, but this brow beaten, marginally-elected little backbencher needs to discuss this pending disaster with his other brow beaten marginally-elected backbenchers and guess what?  They decide to call for a spill! Nothing to lose, no-one was ever going to get to the front for a suck on a teat anyway!

If only Julie Bishop or Scott Morrison were in the top job, he would get to keep his job and the missus’ migraines would disappear! But hang on, who said anything about bloody Turnbull? How the hell did he get on the list of likelies?

“This isn’t turning out like I thought, dear”, says hubby. “Stuff your conservative values”, screams the missus, “do you want the kids to change schools again, do you want our new car repossessed... and what about my new circle of friends on the North Shore? The kids have told all their friends that you’re going to be the next PM. We’ll be rooned!”

And that’s the problem; around 30 under-utilised backbenchers without a future and tons of time on their hands are headed for the dole queue and confined to listening to a bogan like Lambie who got in with 6.5 per cent of first preference votes and copped a red cushion for six bloody years. How do ya think they feel?

Hmmm, poor bastards, not too many on the front bench called for a spill.



Comments

We'd probably still be making Fords.

Hey G'day Horse. Who's your ALP controller? Someone at Head Office I suppose or maybe its the Getup crew. I suppose you enjoy feeling the only power you will ever get by dumping your lefty shite on this forum. Do your worst / best son, it gives us all something to laugh at. You dope.

Confused about a lot of things is my bet, including your sexuality.

You are fathomless and bottomless.

Paddy says "Mick , I'm thinking of buying a Labrador ."Bugger that" says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"

Never mind Possums
The Pension should cheer the b***h up eh?

Just call him manure. God, I hope our tax dollars are not supporting the horse fart.

Tony Burke? Definite dickhead.

Dickhead

Tony Burke is that you?

Dickhead

No worries mate, it was hours ago, and things get lost in the posting frenzy after not too long. I'm getting that editorial framed and put on my wall. Not too often the left-dominated msm dumps on a Labor member. Pity it wasn't front page as editorials tend to get skipped over except by politicians.

under Labor we were paying for a Rolls-Royce and we got a Cherry

please do us all a favour and OD on some ice

$ 7 medicare payment is fuck-all if you live in New-Zealand it starts at $14

wake up dickhead you don't know how good it is to have a sensible party in power

What a great move by our PM South Australia is full of union and Green morons who would fuck-up another Sub construction deal lets get the Japanese Subs best quality and design

Hey, ASC can have the job...I'd love that. But they will have to increase their productivity, take a pay cut, and ignore the Union. Yep, that sounds like a good plan

With out employers, workers would be on the bread line.

thanks for the tip - feel free to do the maths yourself!