Dear Mr Turnbull,
Phoebe is an 8 yo who attends Lloyd Street State School in East Malvern Vic. and she asks a lot of really important questions.
I know you are the Prime Minster so I think you can help me. My teacher says that I can be a boy if I want to, but I and my girlfriends are happy being girls. The trouble is that all the boys in sixth grade want to be girls during play lunch so they can get to use our toilets. Then after play lunch, they want to be boys again so they can talk all about us girls. It's really embarrassing, Mr Turnbull.
When we threatened to invade their toilets, they just said, “Yeah okay, c’mon, ripper”. What should we do?
When we go into their toilets they are always having peeing competitions up the wall and want us to join in. We really can’t compete and anyway we aren’t interested in those sort of competitions and we just want our own toilets back.
Our teacher says not to worry as we are all equal. But how can it be all equal when the boys have those things to pee with? And after sex class this week all the boys had some really strange ideas, so I don’t know what to think now.
I told Dad about it and he said he’s going to kill a few teachers as soon as he gets out of jail because they have let Mr Farkhaed next door have a part time job cleaning the girls’ toilets.
And Dad is only in jail because Mr Farkhaed asked Mum to be his fifth wife, of course Dad went off his head and wacked him something terrible again. This is the fifth time in jail for Dad since the Farkhaeds moved in.
Now the boys are complaining because a lady in a burkah has got a job cleaning their toilets... well, they think it’s a lady. My brother Shamus said it’s Mr Farkhaed’s fourth wife for sure.
But Mr Turnbull, now we are really confused because our rainbow teachers say that the boys can marry each other and the girls can marry each other too. So who will have all the babies?
I understood the sex instruction, but how do all the bits work if girls marry girls and boys marry boys. When Shamus asked what the go was, the teachers didn’t want to explain that because I think it was a bit too rude for us kids.
Please Mr Turnbull, could you tell our teachers that we girls just want to be girls. Then the boys will be happy having their peeing competitions in their own toilets.
Oh dear, thankyou anyway.
age eight (and three quarters)