Once upon a time there was a very vain Prime Minister who made many mistakes. So many silly mistakes that the country was in terrible trouble so, in desperation, he was finally knifed in the back by a former friend.
With his diminutive mate Chris Bowen in tow to cop the flak, Kev is looking to appear fiscally responsible without losing a single vote. Robbing banks might be an honorable vocation if that’s what Kev intended but he is actually robbing us, not the banks.
Tony Abbott is the perfect conservative candidate. Religious, family oriented, philanthropic, sporty, educated and sympathetic to the Aboriginal, gay and even feminist causes. His “broad church” even extends to shades of socialism. “Perfect!”, you might say.
Don’t worry about Fairfax, that irrelevant organisation is slowly pulling its own plug. But the ABC is government-funded and its charter is to cater for a range of views. It doesn't.
It’s a dodgy diagram but with Kev’s tactical adviser, Bruce Hawker, shadowing his every move, and the smug look on Uncle Kev’s face, it is clear they both believe they are on a winner.
Yesterday, my daughter was so excited to tell me that she was allowed to buy a bag of jelly beans on the way to (prep) school to share with the other children. “Save a black one for me darling”, I jokingly yelled as she got into the car.
Maybe, for once, doctors have got something right! My children have never been smacked. It was never necessary. The fact they knew I was annoyed with them was devastating enough. And to smack one of them would be too devastating for them and me.
I tried to get a photo with you at the shopping mall for show-and-tell, ‘cos I think you are famous. My dad says you’re a narcissistic megalomaniac. I’m not sure what that means but it sure sounds important.
Drowning is a nasty death. You will cling to the last piece of jetsam in the hope it will save you. Desperate others will join you until it soon loses its buoyancy. Pleas for help fall silent as familiar faces, now contorted in fear, sink around you.
The Labor Party faithful grit their teeth, unconvincingly defending positions they were denouncing only yesterday. They stand by helplessly watching their muted union comrades being attacked by a despised, recycled leader.