The Pickering Post
Monday, 25th September 2017

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Larry Pickering

Larry Pickering

Four-time Walkley Award winning political commentator and Churchill Fellow, has returned to the fray over concern that the integrity of news dissemination is continually being threatened by a partisan media.

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ANZAC FATIGUE?

Do I have ANZAC fatigue? Yes I do have. Not that I haven’t thought deeply about a tragedy that should never have been. Not that I haven’t imagined my fresh-faced sons in the same trenches and winced. Such a pointless waste of valuable lives and for what?.... Nothing!


THE PANTRY AND THE FRONT BOTTOM

This is secret blokes’ stuff, so if you ladies want to avoid offence you had better go make a cuppa now. Okay fellas, I’ve had my fair share of sheilas, (I’m fast running out of broodmares now ‘tho) but I’ve always thought that package-care was a critical part of courting. I mean you should show a modicum of respect and at least spend a little time tidying up the old tackle.


A FLAT RATE OF TAX IS THE ANSWER

... but who’s game to ask the question?

Australia has one of the highest and most convoluted tax regimes in the world and each time politicians attempt to reform it, it becomes even more abstruse and outrageously costly to administer. In the late 60s, Doug Anthony, a one-time leader of the Country Party (now the Nats) came up with a solution: A flat rate of tax at 25c in the dollar.


NO SHIRTFRONT FOR ERDOGAN

Bonhomie in the Gallipoli trenches, breaks for footy matches, swapping smokes at half time, regular truces to bury the decomposing dead before climbing back over the still warm dead to respectfully recommence killing each other in a warm glow of esprit de corps... it was the original State of Origin match.


WHY HALAL MEAT TASTES LIKE POO

God provided all living things, including plants, with a form of defence, “If you intend to eat me, you had better kill me quickly or I’ll make your meal taste like shit”. Now, because I’m not a fan of ethereal deities, I will call it a billion years of magical evolution... and this is how it works:


NATO MEMBER TURKEY IN BED WITH ISIS

When Suleiman the Magnificent led the Ottoman army into Baghdad in the 16th century he was finally confirmed as the leader of the Sunni Islamic world. Much has changed since, except that modern day Turkey is still a Sunni stronghold and will continue to support and protect the aims of the evil ISIS.


NICE LITTLE NUMBER, JULIE

The only item of substance to come out of Julie Bishop’s talks with the Iranians was what she was wearing. Whatever the hell that black number was, it was in deference to the sensitivities of one of the world’s most evil empires.


Mr FUNNY SHIRTS A COUP FOR THE LIBS


AN ISLAMIC PANDEMIC

... without a vaccine

Let’s be fair here, it’s said that only one in ten Muslims wants to separate your head from your torso, so let’s be really fair to all the "moderate" Muslims and say that only one in twenty (5%) harbours this ambition... I mean we don’t want to unfairly cast Islam in a poor light, do we? But, a meagre 5% means 25,000 Muslims resident in Australia intend to do some pretty bad things to us.


COAGulated conferencing

Anyone feeling sorry for WA’s Colin Barnett? It’s hard not to be really. Here’s the State that shouldered most of Rudd’s and Gillard’s excesses with a mining boom even Glenn Lazarus would have predicted busting at some point. Now that we don’t need poor little Colin and he actually needs us, he’s been told by every other State Premier to go make love to himself.



PROOF OZ HALAL FEES LAUNDERED TO TERRORISTS

One of many ignorant shock jocks opining on claims that halal certification fees go to terrorist groups: “Of course there’s no proof of that”, said Hadley somebugger. But the Arab Bank (a prolific advertiser on Sydney’s 2GB radio station) was found liable in Linde v. Arab Bank, PLC in September last year for funding 24 separate terrorist attacks. Well done Mr Hadley!


SHORTEN MAY BE ABBOTT’S BEST HOPE OF WINNING AN ELECTION

... but Abbott is also Shorten’s best hope

And that leaves we the people with very little hope because the new Tony Abbott, as suspected, remains pretty much the same old Tony Abbott as he continues to struggle with defining a set course for recovery and refining the art of leadership. An aberrant Senate is starting to look like a brake on stupidity.



BOTCHED EXECUTIONS YOU DON'T HEAR ABOUT

"I was shot nine times by a firing squad, and once more in the face to ensure my death.” Wenseslao Moguel (pictured) was sentenced to death without trial for his role in the Mexican revolution. After being shot repeatedly he discovered he was still alive and managed to remain still until his executioners wandered off and he finally crawled his way to safety.


SO YOU GALAHS WANT MORE TAX?

... a million says ya won't get it!

Kerry Packer is proving more right now than when he gave a Senate inquiry a tongue lashing over corporate taxation way back in 1991. “Multinationals” is a satanic term invented by Communists from the 1950s searching for an egalitarian form of income redistribution. The ideologues have changed but the ideology remains the same.


AGONY AND ECSTASY

To see 11 year old autistic Luke back in his Mum’s arms and drenched in her tears after four unimaginable nights in the cold bush was a sheer delight. So many missing kids are lost forever and as the image of that little forlorn face looking up at a helicopter from dense scrub was flashed around the world it was met with countless sighs of relief and a million “thank Gods”.


HONEST, I’M ALL EARS

Professor Ross Garnaut says China’s growth rate is set to fall by 25 per cent. But Mr Garnaut is prone to exaggeration, after all it was he who suggested we needed desalination plants as our dams would soon be dry and, wait for it... South Australia would be permanently under water due to increased sea levels.


TODAY, THE "RECLAIM AUSTRALIA" RALLY

I got a call from this mob asking if I would turn up, but I had never heard of them and I’m always wary of mobs arranging rallies. The only other rally I had been to was a while ago to protest against the building of yet another mosque... er, “places of worship” they are called while in the approval stage. So I had to meet this Reclaim Australia mob.


THE PICKERING POST HACKERS

The unrelenting, concerted hacking of the Pickering Post site since the 12-part series exposing halal certification, has been frustrating for all posters. I have been unable to explain what steps were being taken to defeat these opponents of free speech without alerting them to what was being done to defeat them.

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