I have a good friend who was formerly a Member of the House of Lords. He is around 460th in line to the throne and cousin to the Queen. I met Lord George Milford Haven (nee Mountbatten) just after he had busted up with his wife Sarah someone important.
Oh yes I remember now, it was that other climatic dickhead Kevin Rudd who returned from Copenhagen with a spanked bum and poor Kevin has not been the same ever since.
There was the brilliant Lewis Jetta’s celebration of a goal that looked more like a Kabuki fan dance but no simulated spear throwing, no “up your bum” aggressive arm and fist gestures, no charging at astonished patrons, no little girls ejected from the ground... actually the weekend’s footy had no nasty racist incidents at all! Could it be that Adam Goodes decided to stay home?
If the question was, “can Bill shorten win the next election?”, the answer is a definitive “no!” But that does not mean Abbott is a definitive “yes”, far from it. Neither Abbott nor Gillard won the 2010 election. That election came down to who could enlist the support of superfluous dross like Oakeshott, Windsor and the despicable Slipper.
To find a lost plane in a vast ocean, first determine where it most likely crashed and then mark that point as the last place to look.
The jeering was loud. Almost deafening in its unison - as hundreds of voices simultaneously uttered a long, slow “Boooooo” at the defiant man who stood before them from his position of power and privilege.
Why did we adore Lionel Rose but hope Mundine gets sat on his arse? Why did we love Polly Farmer and Syd Jackson but dislike Adam Goodes? Because we are Australian! We are racially agnostic and we are colour blind. We can choose who we will like and we will always give everyone of every race and colour a fair go providing we are given a fair go in return.
Those on your Left have hooked you ol' girl... they are in the process of reeling you in and soon you will feel the coup de gras of the gaff and the knife, so stop struggling and accept the inevitable fate of the cannery. There is no escape now.
Now I’ve heard everything! The AFL and every sports commentator in the country is admonishing the crowds for booing Adam Goodes. Well, now the crowds can add Lewis Jetta to their list of people worthy of booing because, although the AFL might be able to eject a 13-year-old girl from the MCG, it can’t eject 50,000 fans who paid to have their say.
So gay people want equality eh? Well I reckon it’s the poor straight bastards like me that cop the rough end of the pineapple. If ever equality gets dished out in equal portions, we should be first in line.
I had visitors yesterday but still kept an eye on the ALP Conference and in particular Bill Shorten’s new “road to Damascus” boat policy... but there was something wrong! Something didn’t fit.
Organising a quorum from the Legislative Assembly will be the hardest part because at any one time most of them are off up the Cobourg Peninsula on corroboree, pissed as parrots and punching each other’s lights out arguing over who’s got the biggest rainbow serpent.
It’s a Whitlam style “crash-or-crash-through” gamble on a high risk boat policy in an attempt to succour the electorate’s middle ground. Shorten is attempting to out Abbott Abbott with a ridiculous 50% RET, much like his nonsense 5% company tax cut proposal that one-upped Abbott’s 1.5%. What a joke this bloke Shorten is!
Over many years I have listened with intense interest to Stephen Hawking’s string theorems and black hole time-travel fantasies, believing he must know more about the cosmos than anyone else. Now that he’s declared he is off with some rich Ruskie bloke to find intelligent life in galaxies and hitherto unknown solar systems, I’m convinced he’s been playing with his um, gums all along.
Why is it that polls curiously show a justifiable distrust of Bill Shorten yet show a constant affection for Labor? Well, the electorate has reached an entitlement tipping point where it simply cannot afford NOT to vote Labor.
Laurie Oakes is adamant that the Speaker will stay. “Tony Abbott is the love child of John Howard and Bronwyn Bishop”, he claims, and he could be right about that. But he is wrong about her staying on as Speaker of the House. In all probability Ms Bishop will need to fall on her own sword before Parliament returns for the Spring Session. This is not going away.