The Pickering Post
Wednesday, 19th December 2018

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Archive

The Green Elephant in the Snowy Mountains

Canberra breeds many white elephants, but now they are breeding a gigantic new breed of pachyderm in Australia’s Snowy Mountains – a Green Elephant. Grandly named “Snowy 2.0 Hydro-Electric”, it has the compulsory green skin, but it is just another big white elephant under a thick layer of green paint.


THE STICK INSECT IS AT LEAST KEEPING HER POWDER DRY


LIVESTOCK ARE HALF DEAD ON ARRIVAL ANYWAY

… with more Islamic surprises in store

At age 15 my job in Melbourne Goods Yard was to clear out the cattle trucks of those animals that did not survive the trip. There were many, but mostly from trucks where only a few beasts were loaded.


STILL NO LIGHT SHONE ON ABC'S DARK SIDE

My hand was shaking with trepidation last night as I fingered the remote trying to find the ABC. It was a spanking new button as I hadn’t ventured there in years. I rolled a smoke…“Surely the ABC has become responsible by now”, I was thinking. Well, bugger me, I was disappointed again, 4Corners was on for an hour about what a great man Turnbull was and what an arsehole Abbott still is.


SCOMO FAILS TO FLUSH MAL’S MESS!

When appointed to clean up a diarrhoeal disaster in a public latrine, the first thing to do is don some hazmat gear, flush the toilet and ask for a high-pressured fireman’s hose. PM Morrison appears to have simply changed the sign on the door to “unisex” and left.


SCOMO’s FIRST TEST WILL BE ABBOTT

If PM Morrison will allow Tony Abbott to bury the hatchet it will be a portent to good government and ensure the next election is a competitive affair. The next two weeks are the most important in the SCOMO tenure. He must return to the Parliament with a plan to rid us of the sewage and reinstate wasted administrative talent like Abbott. The Education portfolio is vacant!



IDEOLOGICALLY MALLEABLE, MAYBE

… in ScoMo we must trust

The elevation of Scott Morrison will not please all Conservatives. But it’s the best that can be expected considering that Turnbull’s disregard for convention gave the Dutton haters time to garner votes in the second rundown ballot after the hapless Stick Insect ran as a pacer.


TODAY’S CANBERRA CUP FORM

Canberra Cup today starting at 12 noon. A disappointing field of four will present punters with a real headache. There could be one scratching in Turnbull. He is expected to refuse to go into the barriers as he has been poorly broken in. One mare with a light weight could surprise, but the favourite looks a good bet.


MAL WANTED AND EXPECTED BILL TO WIN

…it was all about his Republic

Alas, Peter is a bit new to this game and should not have passed around a petition for his supporters to sign. Fortunately only a few were silly enough to sign it. Silly because it gives other Turnbull opponents the names of Libs who want him gone in a secret ballot. Turnbull could then deny a Party meeting, which he has, and use that list to spend the next non-sitting weeks cajoling, rewarding, or threatening those who have lost faith in him.


DROUGHT-PROOFING A DRY CONTINENT

.... Earth is a blue watery planet

Seventy per cent of its surface is covered by oceans of salt water, some of which are extremely deep. These oceans contain about 97% of Earth’s water. Another 2% is locked up in snow, ice caps and glaciers. That leaves just 1% of Earth’s surface water in inland seas, lakes, rivers and dams. We have plenty of water, but not much to drink.


TURN TURNBULL’S BONKING BAN BACK ON THE BASTARD


THE CASE FOR ASSISTED DYING

“Postponing Paris” is not good enough and the true Libs must not accept it as a commitment. Despite the rest of the world walking away from Paris, Turnbull will never accept that it is a UN/IPCC hoax.


Reliable Infrastructure before Green Grandstanding

Two messages for Canberra:

Firstly, Australia does not have a problem with too much carbon dioxide going to the sky – we have a problem storing enough of the water coming from the sky.


LODGE DINNER MAL’S LAST SUPPER

On Mal’s reckoning he has already returned once, but there is no theological evidence that sumbugger can return twice, let alone thrice. Pontius Pilate Pyne had washed his hands of the mess and Abbott had Peter in a corner explaining that before the cock crows he will have denied Mal thrice.


THE CHANCE OF A NEGOTIATED NEG IS NEGLIGIBLE

“Genuine Liberals have just about had enough of Malcolm Turnbull!” No shit, Sherlock! They have finally figured out exactly what he is up to, and it’s not about lowering energy prices.


HOW FAR RIGHT IS FRASER ANNING?

…well he’s certainly not far wrong!

I listened to his maiden speech and thought in no way was he alluding to, or referencing, Adolf Hitler’s determination to rid the Earth of Jews. His “final solution” comment was describing a possible plebiscite for Australians to have their say on immigration. But the media saw a vacancy on the moral high-ground and went apeshit.



REOPEN THE ROCK FOR THE RESIDUE


TIME’S RUNNING OUT FOR TURBINES AND TURNBULL

The Liberal Party stands firm: “Renewables will drive down energy prices”, but any reasonable person knows that must be a lie because subsidies on renewables are designed to send energy bills through the roof and make energy companies embrace everything that isn’t coal.

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