So he forgot to not do something he had no intention to do even if he had not forgotten to remember something he was not going to do anyway even if he had remembered to not forget he had already forgotten to remember... or in other words, “Bugger, I should have opened that attachment”.
The AWU’s hero, Bill Shorten, nervously peeks from behind the stand as his slobbering attack dog, Tony Burke, attempts stop a Royal Commission unearthing even more of Bill’s union corruption... but PM Abbott can hear bells ringing, he is close to unconscious, lost in vacuous half-measures and vapid inoffensiveness and the corner seems the safest place.
How do you compare golfing class acts like Jason Day and Adam Scott with tennis tossers like Nick Kyrgios and Bernard Tomic? All four represent Australia.
The answer is neither, unless you have just had a serious fight with your wallet. On the left is the Liberal Party’s bright spark, Gregory Burton, SC, earmarked for Bronwyn Bishop’s seat of Mackellar.
“(1) Any person who intentionally insults or disturbs a Royal Commission, or interrupts the proceedings of a Royal Commission, or uses any insulting language towards a Royal Commission, or by writing or speech uses words false and defamatory of a Royal Commission, or is in any manner guilty of any intentional contempt of a Royal Commission, shall be guilty of an offence.” (under a penalty of 3 months' jail.)
Leading the charge for same sex marriage, is openly gay Labor Senator Penny Wong. Ms Wong feels we should hurry up gay marriage, criticising Tony Abbott's option for a plebiscite. Agree or disagree with PM Abbott's position, it has always been consistent - both before and after the last election.
No, this is not about the Bendigo Bank’s rapacious associates who have a financial interest in the land surrounding the proposed mega mosque. Nor is it about how the Bendigo Bank cancelled the accounts of all those who objected to the rape of their city. Nor is it about the corrupted Bendigo councillors who did not declare an interest.
Personally I'm agnostic on same sex marriage. I understand the arguments on both sides. On the basis of fairness I believe everyone should enjoy equal rights, so I can only support same sex marriage. But the issue of marriage is a little more complex - and deeply personal.
How to tell if you’re ready to accept gay marriage? When you’re ready to accept two blokes kissing and they stop calling you a homophobe.
Twenty six year-old internet blogger, Kiran Gandhi ran this year’s London marathon without a tampon knowing she had her period. In a message to the sisterhood she said, “I felt kind of like, Yeah! Fuck you!, I felt very empowered by that, I did... I ran to say, ‘it does exist’, and that we overcome it every day.” Every day, eh? That’s some sort of Guiness record isn’t it!
Poor Tony Burke’s 20-year marriage was threadbare but there was a tasty little piece of fluff in his office perfect for bedding. She was the mail girl, ex-GetUP, a global warmist, dedicated Green advocate, lover of everything Left and her husband had just shot through. Poor Tony could hardly conceal his woody.