The Pickering Post
Tuesday, 27th June 2017

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Archive

THE DIARIES OF PETER BEATTIE'S MISTRESS

[Accuracy of the following report cannot be assured beyond doubt. Material that could not be corroborated has been deleted. Information in these diaries is more an indictment on Kevin Rudd’s judgment than the ethics of Peter Beattie. Rudd, as an ALP and Premier Wayne Goss confidant, would have been privy to the following information.]


THE CRICKET WAS MORE INTERESTING!

Who won? Who cares. Really, it was just a personality pantomime reinforcing already-held opinions of viewers. The weak format favoured Abbott but tested neither of them.


KEV'S BAD HAIR DAY IS EVERY DAY

Uncle Kev has always reminded me of everyone’s unfortunate dim uncle. You know, the one you had to take to weddings. Sooner or later you had to take him out the back, slap him around the chops, and tell him to stop playing with his donger in public!


NEWMAN RUDD'S STAR PERFORMER

Kevin Rudd has been campaigning in his home State with the message that Tony Abbott will be another Campbell Newman. Let's hope so.



LABOR/GREENS CAN STOP THE BOATS

There are six States and two Territories in Australia. (Let’s leave the ACT out of this because it has always had blind Labor allegiance supporting half of Australia’s union membership.)


TWO QLD DISASTERS RETURN... with no guarantee of success

So, not only do we need to endure the return of a walking wanker called Kev, we are now faced with an incompetent called Pete.



TONY HAS HIS WAY... but business left holding the baby

Tony Abbott’s signature policy of paid parental leave is an unreasonable reaction to his perceived low esteem among women.


JAYMES DIAZ: A good bloke, but the wrong bloke


LOW RATES INDICATE A GROWING ECONOMY: Bowen

Well, he did a great job with the boats, so why shouldn’t he be given a crack at Treasurer? But his comment on record low interest rates takes Labor spin to a whole new level of nauseating vertigo.



CONSUMERS TO BE CREAMED IN THE CORRUPT CARBON CREDIT CASINO

Some people think an Emissions Trading Scheme is superior to a Carbon Tax. It’s time to expose the corrupt carbon credit casino.


ONCE UPON A TIME...

Once upon a time there was a very vain Prime Minister who made many mistakes. So many silly mistakes that the country was in terrible trouble so, in desperation, he was finally knifed in the back by a former friend.



ENLISTING THE ENEMY

“Still, if you will not fight for the right when you can easily win without bloodshed; if you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly; you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance of survival...


UNCLE KEV MUST BE UNCIRCUMCISED...

there is simply no end to the prick!

With his diminutive mate Chris Bowen in tow to cop the flak, Kev is looking to appear fiscally responsible without losing a single vote. Robbing banks might be an honorable vocation if that’s what Kev intended but he is actually robbing us, not the banks.


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