The Pickering Post
Monday, 1st May 2017

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Archive

DEAR Mr RUDD...



COOLING THE CLIMATE CLOTS

Billions of dollars have been wasted in the war on carbon in the vain hope of reducing natural global warming. This has disrupted the electricity market, caused numerous business closures and created a costly and oppressive climate bureaucracy.


TWO BLACK JELLY BEANS

Yesterday, my daughter was so excited to tell me that she was allowed to buy a bag of jelly beans on the way to (prep) school to share with the other children. “Save a black one for me darling”, I jokingly yelled as she got into the car.


SMACKING IS UNNECESSARY

... and you can prove it!

Maybe, for once, doctors have got something right! My children have never been smacked. It was never necessary. The fact they knew I was annoyed with them was devastating enough. And to smack one of them would be too devastating for them and me.


DEAR UNCLE KEV....

I tried to get a photo with you at the shopping mall for show-and-tell, ‘cos I think you are famous. My dad says you’re a narcissistic megalomaniac. I’m not sure what that means but it sure sounds important.



A CULPABLE PAROLE BOARD


DROWNING IN A KEVIN RUDD MESS

Drowning is a nasty death. You will cling to the last piece of jetsam in the hope it will save you. Desperate others will join you until it soon loses its buoyancy. Pleas for help fall silent as familiar faces, now contorted in fear, sink around you.


HOW MUCH WOULD YOU CHARGE...


KEV'S ELECTION DATE AN EXECUTION DATE

The Labor Party faithful grit their teeth, unconvincingly defending positions they were denouncing only yesterday. They stand by helplessly watching their muted union comrades being attacked by a despised, recycled leader.



REPLACE THE CARBON TAX... with nothing!


'GETUP!' OFFERS $40,000 BRIBE IN GOLD TO VOTERS

The oddball, far Left, union financed, Getup! has got a little over-excited about Kev’s return. An incredible $40,000 in gold bars is on offer for enrolling to vote, providing at the same time you join Getup!


WELCOME TO THE CRAZY WORLD OF KEV

This "arrangement" below appears nothing more than a hastily prepared, aspirational list of non-binding maybes that could cost all Australians their savings and not deter anyone from getting to Australia by boat. Let alone deter people smugglers.


WHAT HAS OUR UNCLE KEV BEEN UP TO?

...it's not pretty, as a staffer explains:

As predicted here yesterday, the Opposition is now crab-walking away from “welcoming” PM Kevin Rudd’s PNG plan now the detail, or lack of it, is becoming apparent.


ABBOTT WILL BACKFLIP ON "I WELCOME RUDD PLAN"

Tony Abbott prematurely rushed to agree with Rudd’s immigration plan to avoid further “negative” claims. But Rudd’s plan is another “back of the envelope” draft that will sink Australia into catastrophic debt with little effect.



CLASSIC KEV

Now let me get this straight, because Uncle Kev’s a bit light on detail. We still tow all these illegal Indonesian boats to our offshore processing centres, there we health-check them and send them on to Manus Is. to be "properly" processed by PNG. Am I right so far?

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