The Pickering Post
Wednesday, 29th April 2015

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ONLY IN THE MOVIES

The Australian acting and entertainment celebrity fraternity, practising and rehearsing their bestest outraged faces and voices, has demanded Tony Abbott DO SOMETHING about saving the lives of the Bali heroin smuggling ringleaders.


DEALING DRUG MONEY WITH THE JUDICIARY

I have been against the death penalty ever since a journalist friend bore witness to Australia’s last execution, that of Ronald Ryan on February 3, 1967 in Coburg’s Pentridge Prison. But I have covered a number of stories on Indonesia’s death penalty and the part it plays in an outrageously corrupt judiciary and military.


KNOCK KNOCK...


BALI TWO SEALED THEIR OWN FATE


INDONESIA RISKS A HUGE BACKLASH!

Do you recognise this little monkey? Well, he is Ronny Sompie, the Bali Police Chief who reportedly replaced that other little monkey, Police Chief Harry Utomo, who took those grinning “selfies” of himself with the traumatised Bali two on the flight to “Execution Island”.


A PANTRY FAIRY?



IT WAS NO PICNIC BACK THEN, EITHER

I hate it when the alarm goes off at stupid o'clock on Anzac morning and I know I have to drag myself out of bed to go to the dawn service. At the same time I love the way that this small deprivation forces me to think of the sacrifices that were given to create this amazing society that we live in.


ANZAC FATIGUE?

Do I have ANZAC fatigue? Yes I do have. Not that I haven’t thought deeply about a tragedy that should never have been. Not that I haven’t imagined my fresh-faced sons in the same trenches and winced. Such a pointless waste of valuable lives and for what?.... Nothing!


THE PANTRY AND THE FRONT BOTTOM

This is secret blokes’ stuff, so if you ladies want to avoid offence you had better go make a cuppa now. Okay fellas, I’ve had my fair share of sheilas, (I’m fast running out of broodmares now ‘tho) but I’ve always thought that package-care was a critical part of courting. I mean you should show a modicum of respect and at least spend a little time tidying up the old tackle.


A FLAT RATE OF TAX IS THE ANSWER

... but who’s game to ask the question?

Australia has one of the highest and most convoluted tax regimes in the world and each time politicians attempt to reform it, it becomes even more abstruse and outrageously costly to administer. In the late 60s, Doug Anthony, a one-time leader of the Country Party (now the Nats) came up with a solution: A flat rate of tax at 25c in the dollar.



'Flannery Syndrome' - a disease for the deluded.


TAXPAYERS FUND ISLAM EXCESSES

When halal organisations try to diffuse any suggestion of funding terrorism they like to point out that the money goes to Islamic mosques, Islamic schools and Islamic charities. So Cadbury, Nestle, Bega, Sanitarium, Byron Bay Cookies and hundreds more should feel really good about themselves because they are supporting the Islamic community in Australia. And you should too, right?


NO SHIRTFRONT FOR ERDOGAN

Bonhomie in the Gallipoli trenches, breaks for footy matches, swapping smokes at half time, regular truces to bury the decomposing dead before climbing back over the still warm dead to respectfully recommence killing each other in a warm glow of esprit de corps... it was the original State of Origin match.


WHY HALAL MEAT TASTES LIKE POO

God provided all living things, including plants, with a form of defence, “If you intend to eat me, you had better kill me quickly or I’ll make your meal taste like shit”. Now, because I’m not a fan of ethereal deities, I will call it a billion years of magical evolution... and this is how it works:


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